i blinked and it's december already.

i think i forgot how to write. i blame grad school and the horrid research papers i had to spew out. i blame the instability of my life right now.

lunch conversation with my 4 year olds on friday:

J (Girl): I really like you W! Do you like me too?
W (Boy): I like A, E and J hmmm... I guess I like you too
J: Really?! *hugs W*
J: Do you like R too?
W: I like you
J: What about R?
W: I said I like you
J: and R?
W: Okay I like her but only a half tank (holds up index finger and thumb), not a full tank
R: *oh*

Story of my life re-enacted by 4 year olds.

___________________________________________________________________________________

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do

It's good to be in love, Frou Frou

____________________________________________________________________

things are looking up don't you think?

"ms. a after i go pee pee do you think we can talk about what animals eat?" who would have thought that this line would turn out to be the highlight of my day? despite the self doubt, the stress, the exhaustion and the recurring dream of being swallowed up by a huge wave i can truly say that this is what i want to do for the rest of my life. it is amazing to think that it has been only a year since i turned my back on cubicles, copiers, toners, lunch meetings, overtime, time sheets, work shirts, pumps and packed lunches yet it feels like it was a lifetime ago. have you ever had a dream so vivid that you actually find yourself saying that a dream this vivid i surely will not forget but then the minute you open your eyes all you have left are hazy images? well it is kind of like that.

i am rediscovering pete yorn, oh to be 22 again...

_____________________________________________________________________________________
"Calls him every day, He took a kind of vacation, Was heading for something, Won’t leave her alone

sleep better, pete yorn
____________________________________________________________________

blue skies

_____________________________________________________________________________________

To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me..
Always love… Hate will get you everytime
Always love… Don’t wait till the finish line

Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But Always Love… Hate will get you every time
Always Love… Even when you want to fight

-Always Love, Nada Surf

____________________________________________________________________

hi,

i miss writing. i wanted to write but then life happened...

anyway it has almost been two months since i moved to california from the east coast. california is slowly creeping into my heart kind of like a mosquito buzzing around your ear, at first it annoys the hell out of you but in the long run it becomes soothing that you forget that it is there. sorry for the really lame metaphor but i just saw a bug flying around my apartment so i thought it would be cool to blog about it. anyway i am exploring my area when i have time and i am glad to discover little surprises a long the way. i have a good feeling about this. california i am starting falling in love with you...

on the work front, i am enjoying every minute i spend with the children although i might say it is tougher than i thought. i often ask myself if i am doing the right thing or am i competent enough to teach them. i am a little bit stressed out. i keep telling myself it is only the second week of school and we have a whole year to work on things. this job needs a lot of organization which apparently i don't have the skills for and so this is one of the things that i really work on. the little system that i currently have cannot handle the level that i need to keep me sane. i need to have mad skills, like martha stewart sans neurosis.

on the personal life front, it's okay i got to spend some quality time with family which i did not have the chance to do when i was in the east coast. i have met a couple of nice people no new friends though, but i am really glad that at least akiko is here so it does not really bother me that much. hmmm..whatelse i think that's it, no major crisis, no drama, no earth shattering events. it is just the way i like it...

anyway have a good week ahead of you.

much love,
nicole

everything happens for a reason...

this time last year i found myself scrambling around trying to pack 6 years of my life into boxes. 5 boxes, 3 suitcases and a couple of garbage bags, it is weird to see your life broken down that way. i came to the US at 20 telling myself that DC was going to be my second home. DC indeed became my home away from home it was where i spent most of my youth, it is where i learned not to mix my red shirt with the whites, where i learned that raid is the best way to kill roaches or that my neighbor down the hall is not that scary he just loves to blast his music use pinesol like it's water. it is the city that i love and will love until i become a little old lady with cats.

so with thoughts like that racing through my mind no wonder it took me almost an hour just to click the purchase button for a one way ticket going to california. one click was all it took to change my life forever. no turning back i suppose...

"i am moving to california" saying it out loud makes it more real. next month i am once again moving away from my friends, my home, my comfort zone. i'm a jumble of emotions; anxiety,panic, excitement, panic, dread, panic,happiness, panic, hopeful, panic and more panic.

7 years of my life in boxes now that will be quite a sight to see...

san francisco here we come!

main street
ellicott city, MD