fast forward in slo mo...

"Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me
I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty"

let's get out of this country, camera obscura

---

spending my weekends putting my life (once again) in boxes...

"goodbye is hard, i prefer see you later" - charlie brown

3 more days until school ends, i spend most of my days hugging the children instead of giving lessons. today i was holding back my tears while i was watching them. sentimental is the theme of this month. on the other hand, in less in a month i will be back home. after 4 years i am coming home. excited does not even begin to describe what i am feeling. but until then there are boxes needed to be stuffed, old letters to be thrown out, memories to be made and numerous hugs to be given.

i am officially addicted to glee.

----
asian art museum
april 2010
san francisco

love letter

good morning
belmont, ca
may 1, 2010

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things that make you go ummm...

"ms. a, can i be your daddy?"
- jonas (3)
( it sounds creepy yet funny at the same time)

after 3 years of teaching in my current school i finally decided to move on. my heart breaks a little every time i think of leaving my children. they drive me crazy sometimes but most of the time i just feel this overwhelming love for them. my class will always have a very special place in my heart. 10, 15, 30 years from now they will still be very dear to me. they were the first group of children i have ever taught in my entire life. they gave me a sense of accomplishment, a taste of what it feels like to be needed and be loved unconditionally. in a sense i needed them more that they needed me. my wish is for them to grow up to be loving, respectful and compassionate adults. i feel happy that in some way or another i have made an impact in their lives. i want them to remember me as someone who made a difference in their lives because they definitely made a difference in mine. they taught me patience, kindness, love and a sense of wonder and for that i am grateful.

after christmas:

julia (6)
"ms a, did you get any presents for christmas?"

me
"umm..no"

julia runs up to me and hugs me very tightly
"now you have 1 present"

love, pass it on...

-------

"and when i think of you and all the love that's due
i'll make a promise, i'll make a stand
'cause to these big brown eyes
this comes as no surprise
we've got the whole wide world in our hands

advice to the young at heart
soon we will be older
when we're gonna make it work"

advice for the young at heart, tears for fears

in transit

oceania
by: D
san mateo, ca
4/20/10

"I'm in transit
But I'm stranded on this boat
And I pledge myself allegiance
To a better night's sleep at home"

fader, the temper trap

-------

moving again, hopefully this time it won't be as painful as the previous 9. 10 years, 9 addresses, you do the math.
just when i thought "this could work out, it's not that bad", i find myself thinking...dispose or keep?
boxes, boxes and more boxes
3 posts in a month, my my we are making progress here

and so it begins again...

.............

moving again, hello boxes, goodbye room

i am so tired of packing i think the longest i have stayed in one place was 3 years other than that it seemed that i was moving every year. to think i was quite optimistic about 2008, i even compared it to a warm, soft grandmother but guess what like in the stories i tell my children she turned out to be the wolf in disguise. anyway someone asked me this question a couple weeks ago, he asked me what was the most important thing in my life right now, and without even thinking i answered: stability. stability is at the top, nothing even comes close to it. if you ask me where i see myself 5 years from now i would tell you point blank i do not know, what about a year from now? i will still answer you the same thing i do not have a clue, i don't even want to think what will happen in october and that is 2 months away. i guess for now i will just have to concentrate on putting my life in boxes for the nth time, unpacking, getting used to an unfamiliar place and when that place feel a little bit like home pack up and move again.

................

Follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you taking everything off watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone...

Why do you have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

imogen heap, good night and go

...................

everything happens for a reason...

this time last year i found myself scrambling around trying to pack 6 years of my life into boxes. 5 boxes, 3 suitcases and a couple of garbage bags, it is weird to see your life broken down that way. i came to the US at 20 telling myself that DC was going to be my second home. DC indeed became my home away from home it was where i spent most of my youth, it is where i learned not to mix my red shirt with the whites, where i learned that raid is the best way to kill roaches or that my neighbor down the hall is not that scary he just loves to blast his music use pinesol like it's water. it is the city that i love and will love until i become a little old lady with cats.

so with thoughts like that racing through my mind no wonder it took me almost an hour just to click the purchase button for a one way ticket going to california. one click was all it took to change my life forever. no turning back i suppose...

"i am moving to california" saying it out loud makes it more real. next month i am once again moving away from my friends, my home, my comfort zone. i'm a jumble of emotions; anxiety,panic, excitement, panic, dread, panic,happiness, panic, hopeful, panic and more panic.

7 years of my life in boxes now that will be quite a sight to see...

san francisco here we come!