Spurts

hello blog, hello world it's been a while.

i made a promise at the beginning of 2008. i promised to write more. in retrospect i intended to do it, but the procrastinator in me won (as usual).

ever since i moved to california, i can't seem to write anymore. i don't know if it's the weather, my new lifestyle, my work or too much korean dramas (i blame the dramas and old age).

this year i am turning 29, which is quite an odd year to be at. it's like i'm too old to wear super tight t-shirts yet too young to wear "adult clothes" (i can't give you an example because everytime i think about it pant suits pop in my head). anyway i'm on the brink off my 20s it's a bit scary but last i heard 30 is the new 21 or something like that.

no interesting people and observations to write about. i blame having a car.

miss you lots, i won't make promises to you anymore because i seem to break it all the time. promises, they say are meant to be broken however i feel like a mom who asked you to wait for me at the cereal aisle while i get a shopping cart and never came back because i ran off with my alcoholic boyfriend named leon.

this is a start i suppose...

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getty museum
los angeles, ca

milking it

lunch time, wedensday

miss a: curtis please finish your milk
curtis: i don't want to
miss a: i believe you are 5 now right? so you have to finish your milk
curtis: i want to be 4
miss a: well you still need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be 3
miss a: the more you need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be 10
miss a: you need milk to strengthen your bones
curtis: i want to be 18
miss a: the older you get the more you need calcium for your bones curtis, so please drink your milk
curtis: i want to be a dog
miss a: dogs still need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be a cow
miss a: cows also drink milk, it even comes from them
curtis: *looks around* i want to be a flower
miss a: *taken aback (how do you top that?) ummm... okay go ahead and clean up

*that child should be a lawyer

still life
monterey bay aquarium
2008

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the sweetest thing

mom and pops
carmel by the sea, CA
april 2008

while we were preparing to go for a walk around the neighborhood josh, a 5 year old boy in my class blurted out "Ms. A I wish you had more hands so that you can hold all of our hands". at the end of the day, when i feel like giving up this is what keeps me going.

i am still playing the waiting game...

sorry for the cryptic messages, once everything settles maybe i will be in the mood to explain.

"i'm okay" i have been saying these for the last couple of months and i am starting to believe it.

and so it begins again...

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moving again, hello boxes, goodbye room

i am so tired of packing i think the longest i have stayed in one place was 3 years other than that it seemed that i was moving every year. to think i was quite optimistic about 2008, i even compared it to a warm, soft grandmother but guess what like in the stories i tell my children she turned out to be the wolf in disguise. anyway someone asked me this question a couple weeks ago, he asked me what was the most important thing in my life right now, and without even thinking i answered: stability. stability is at the top, nothing even comes close to it. if you ask me where i see myself 5 years from now i would tell you point blank i do not know, what about a year from now? i will still answer you the same thing i do not have a clue, i don't even want to think what will happen in october and that is 2 months away. i guess for now i will just have to concentrate on putting my life in boxes for the nth time, unpacking, getting used to an unfamiliar place and when that place feel a little bit like home pack up and move again.

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Follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you taking everything off watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone...

Why do you have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

imogen heap, good night and go

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my little discovery...

coby
las vegas, march 2008

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currently listening to: haru haru - big bang


homesick... thank god for this website now i have a little piece of the philippines. my current obsession aside from the usual melodramas, the korean variety show and sharon cuneta movies is the awesome show called imbestigador. mike enriquez you should run for president, from people whose identity has been stolen to shirtless guys making dentures and retainers for an unsuspecting lot nothing escapes him. from the cheesy music to the weird way he talks, it's so over the top that it's good. you can say i am a big fan of "over the topness" if there is such a word. i was making fun of my cousin whose favorite show is america's most wanted and cops, if she only knew about this secret of mine, i will never hear the end of it.

my roommate and i are currently in a frenzy over this guy :

takenouchi yutaka
*drool*
(photo courtesy of: http://www.ken-on.co.jp/takenouchi/)

a happy thought courtesy of my children:

amanda - eyes as big as saucers and is whispering to us in a conspirational tone: "you know guys when i was watching tv in my room..." pauses for dramatic effect
me: yes amanda? what did you see?
amanda: i saw a BOYGIRL!
me: a what?
amanda: a boy girl
wilbert: what's a boy girl?
amanda: a boy that looks like a girl
wilbert: ahhh, you know what sometimes i think my dad is a girl.
me: can you please pass me the milk

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a confession of some sort...

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last night, in the dark i watched a movie that i have been dying to watch for a long time. i was lucky enough to find it online and even though i had to wake up early the next day i just had to watch it. the cinematic masterpiece i searched fervently for was the 80's gem dear heart. yes, dear heart the movie every sharonian (and for my case closet sharonian) should watch. the story is about a girl, april (or EP-REL as eddie garcia would pronounce it) a rich girl with a very protective father and a young man named jimmy who is the bastard son of a mining tycoon ( i always wanted to write "a bastard son of a mining tycoon", sounds very grown up). basically the storyline is so predictable that you would know what was going to happen just by watching the opening montage (and that was sharon riding a horse in baguio).

girl meets boy, girl does not like boy, girl and boy bicker (in taglish...."i'll make palo your head" blah blah blah), girl and boy fall in love, *cue montage* with girl and boy chasing each other on the beach, girl wearing jeans while swimming, father of girl is against the relationship, girl and boy got stranded in the mountains, girl's dad calls police, girl got grounded does not want to eat, boy was thrown in jail, boy's dad finally acknowledges his son, bails him out, girl's dad finally realized what an ass he was, says sorry to girl, throws a lavish 16th birthday party for daughter, makes a cheesy speech something about a golden girl in a golden cage (he lost me after the golden cage), boy appears in a tuxedo asks girl to dance, they hug. the end.

the reason why i love watching 80s tagalog movies it's over the top. it oozes with melodrama, cheese, bad hair and make up. i love the dialogue with corny english phrases scattered in it (your ANG-KEL perised in a plen kras). i love how easy things work out for the characters, the reversal of fortunes. i love how it reminds me of lazy summer days and in some weird way bananacue and turon.

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naptime, april 2008

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"But if you left it up to me
Everyday would be
A holiday from real
We'd waste our weeks
Beneath the sun
We'd lie and tell our friends
It's so much fun out here
When it's all over
I'll come back for another year"

Holiday from Real, Jack's Mannequin

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everything i know i learned from the playground

getty museum, los angeles

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love according to amanda, 4 years old:
"when you get married, make sure it's with someone you love, not like"

marriage according to andrew, 5 years old:
"i want to get married so that i can get a ring" i want to get married 10 times so that i can get 10 rings"

parents according to wilbert, 4 years old:
"i am sometimes scared of my dad because i sometimes think he's a girl"

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a day in the life of...

palace of fine arts
san francisco

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discovered books again. it's like seeing a very dear and old friend.


a day in the life of...:

erika *holding up a picture of tulips*
me: those are tulips
erika: tulips
me: yes tulips have you seen these in the garden?
erika: yes i have tulips at home, they are red
me: really?
erika: yes (then she put her hand on her mouth, pretending like she is holding something) tulips (rubbing her mouth) i have a red one
me *puzzled look*
erika: tulips (still doing that action) i have a red one
*ding*
me: ooooooooohhhhhh erika tulips are flowers, what you put on your lips is called LIPSTICK
erika: *nods* yes tulips *and goes away*

it took me a while to figure out why she associated tulips with lipstick and then i realize ahhh tu-LIPS!

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Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

chasing pavements, adele

life is like a box of jelly beans...you wonder who the heck
thought that jalapeno would be a nice addition to an otherwise
great bunch.

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current addiction: this korean tv/reality show

yesterday i saw one of the saddest things i have ever seen, 2 middle aged women drunk at 8:00 pm crossing a busy intersection. what is more sadder than 2 women trying desperately to hold on to their inner queen bee, sorority 20 year old selves? knowing that they have a much exciting social life than a 28 year old single girl.

summer is almost over so that means that school is starting *hooray* -- can you tell that i am being sarcastic? don't get me wrong i love my children, i love teaching however, it's the constant "ms. A. MW is not my friend!" or "Ms. A, she hit me!" or *blag* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" that drains me of all my energy. with all the constant negotiations and peace talks i have to do all through out the day i should be able to work for the united nations. cleaning up vomit, pee and the dreaded number 2 has been added to my job description and possibly my resume. basically what i am trying to say is that whoever is looking for a peace negotiator that can sanitize and clean up vomit, pee and the dreaded number 2 i am the girl for that job.

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"Hey remember that time when my favorite colors were pink and green? Hey remember that month when I only ate boxes of tangerines? So cheap and juicy, tangerines...
That Time, Regina Spektor

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got carried away...

december 2007
christmas presents for my first montessori class

"everyone has a car, people who don't have cars are dead"
this quote is courtesy of my very outspoken 4 year old E in class today.

one time 4 year old M asked me "ms. a why are you alone?" and as if it was not clear enough he had a follow-up question "i mean why don't you have a kid?" i wanted to answer him, my dear boy it's because i am too busy watching my dramas instead of going out and meeting other people and also the stability that i am praying for is still an illusion, so please don't ever ask me that question again because it seems that everyone and their mother is asking me the same thing but instead i replied: "M, do you want to have a lesson?" distraction, it always works.

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Well actually I've got friends who (la la lie)
Will help me pull through (la la la lie la la la lie)
The spaceman that can't get high
I'm coming back to my girl by July
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack's Mannequin, La La Lie

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ms. A. according to Curtis
04/18/2008
(Yes, my head is that big)

sentimental, that's what i feel today. looking at pictures taken 1, 3 even 5 years ago does not help either. it's weird seeing yourself grinning ear to ear with your arm around people who are now considered acquaintances instead of friends. it's sad to see the old place you used to call home, the old haunts you know so well are now just mega pixels and memories.

tired was what i felt yesterday. coming back from a weekend with my family playing rockband on wii, i needed another vacation to recover from the vacation.

tomorrow, maybe tomorrow would be a little bit better. if things go my way i might be even happy.

"When it's quiet, does she hear me? Jettisoned to the center of the storm And I'm thinking I Prefer not to be rescued"

Rescued, Jack's Mannequin

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hi,

new year's resolutions, i don't have any however i did promise myself that i will make an effort to write more in my journal. i think not having a desk and not having a reason to pretend that i am actually working affected my entire routine. anyhoo i just checked blog-city and it seems that my blog site no longer exists. 4 years worth of entries gone in an instant. 4 years of my life lost in cyberspace.

2008, i like the way it looks. it looks soft, round like your grandmother soft to the touch and radiates warmth when you hug her.

stability is the only thing i wish for in 2008. no more packing, unpacking, saying goodbye, tears, homesickness and "i am new here so i don't really know what to do" answers.

so here's to stability and routines. to children's runny noses and scraped knees. to lesson plans and the embarrassment of singing in front of the entire class. here's to the life i chose to live...

happy new year!

much love,
nicole
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2007 in a nutshell

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to hell with it
i'm going to have a party

i had the blankest year
i saw life turn into a tv show
the person i knew
i didn't really know

time don't move
we're the only ones who do
bending reason
coz it's all we hold on to

nada surf, blankest year

i blinked and it's december already.

i think i forgot how to write. i blame grad school and the horrid research papers i had to spew out. i blame the instability of my life right now.

lunch conversation with my 4 year olds on friday:

J (Girl): I really like you W! Do you like me too?
W (Boy): I like A, E and J hmmm... I guess I like you too
J: Really?! *hugs W*
J: Do you like R too?
W: I like you
J: What about R?
W: I said I like you
J: and R?
W: Okay I like her but only a half tank (holds up index finger and thumb), not a full tank
R: *oh*

Story of my life re-enacted by 4 year olds.

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It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy you're in love
'Cause every color goes where you do

It's good to be in love, Frou Frou

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things are looking up don't you think?

"ms. a after i go pee pee do you think we can talk about what animals eat?" who would have thought that this line would turn out to be the highlight of my day? despite the self doubt, the stress, the exhaustion and the recurring dream of being swallowed up by a huge wave i can truly say that this is what i want to do for the rest of my life. it is amazing to think that it has been only a year since i turned my back on cubicles, copiers, toners, lunch meetings, overtime, time sheets, work shirts, pumps and packed lunches yet it feels like it was a lifetime ago. have you ever had a dream so vivid that you actually find yourself saying that a dream this vivid i surely will not forget but then the minute you open your eyes all you have left are hazy images? well it is kind of like that.

i am rediscovering pete yorn, oh to be 22 again...

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"Calls him every day, He took a kind of vacation, Was heading for something, Won’t leave her alone

sleep better, pete yorn
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blue skies

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To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me..
Always love… Hate will get you everytime
Always love… Don’t wait till the finish line

Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But Always Love… Hate will get you every time
Always Love… Even when you want to fight

-Always Love, Nada Surf

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hi,

i miss writing. i wanted to write but then life happened...

anyway it has almost been two months since i moved to california from the east coast. california is slowly creeping into my heart kind of like a mosquito buzzing around your ear, at first it annoys the hell out of you but in the long run it becomes soothing that you forget that it is there. sorry for the really lame metaphor but i just saw a bug flying around my apartment so i thought it would be cool to blog about it. anyway i am exploring my area when i have time and i am glad to discover little surprises a long the way. i have a good feeling about this. california i am starting falling in love with you...

on the work front, i am enjoying every minute i spend with the children although i might say it is tougher than i thought. i often ask myself if i am doing the right thing or am i competent enough to teach them. i am a little bit stressed out. i keep telling myself it is only the second week of school and we have a whole year to work on things. this job needs a lot of organization which apparently i don't have the skills for and so this is one of the things that i really work on. the little system that i currently have cannot handle the level that i need to keep me sane. i need to have mad skills, like martha stewart sans neurosis.

on the personal life front, it's okay i got to spend some quality time with family which i did not have the chance to do when i was in the east coast. i have met a couple of nice people no new friends though, but i am really glad that at least akiko is here so it does not really bother me that much. hmmm..whatelse i think that's it, no major crisis, no drama, no earth shattering events. it is just the way i like it...

anyway have a good week ahead of you.

much love,
nicole

everything happens for a reason...

this time last year i found myself scrambling around trying to pack 6 years of my life into boxes. 5 boxes, 3 suitcases and a couple of garbage bags, it is weird to see your life broken down that way. i came to the US at 20 telling myself that DC was going to be my second home. DC indeed became my home away from home it was where i spent most of my youth, it is where i learned not to mix my red shirt with the whites, where i learned that raid is the best way to kill roaches or that my neighbor down the hall is not that scary he just loves to blast his music use pinesol like it's water. it is the city that i love and will love until i become a little old lady with cats.

so with thoughts like that racing through my mind no wonder it took me almost an hour just to click the purchase button for a one way ticket going to california. one click was all it took to change my life forever. no turning back i suppose...

"i am moving to california" saying it out loud makes it more real. next month i am once again moving away from my friends, my home, my comfort zone. i'm a jumble of emotions; anxiety,panic, excitement, panic, dread, panic,happiness, panic, hopeful, panic and more panic.

7 years of my life in boxes now that will be quite a sight to see...

san francisco here we come!

main street
ellicott city, MD

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i decided to move my blog to another location. changes are being made.

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my highschool years was spent inside a convent, no i was not pregnant nor was i a troubled teen, i went to school there because it was written in the stars, it's all about keeping up with the legacy of my ancestors, you know tradition and all that crap. so anyway, in my first year of highschool, the whole grunge movement suddenly arrived to our tiny island of iloilo (it was in 1992), we embraced it with open arms, suddenly our nkotb records were replaced by pearl jam and nirvana, for the "less angry" alternative (more acoustic guitar based songs) was the way to go, suddenly we were not kids anymore, we became more aware of our surroundings not just involved with ourselves, there is a big world outside and we were stuck inside the four corners of the convent and conform to the principles of the nuns that run our school. we began to bring walkmans to school and our allowance was spent on tapes i met my close friend for almost 10 years because of our common love for East 17 and vanessa paradis (i still cringe everytime i remember this) , music was the only way for us to express what we truly feel inside, for a generation brought up by tv we were enthralled by the introduction of cable tv and would watch mtv 24/7. for some people highschool is a period in their lives that they would want to erase, for me highschool molded me into the person i am today, all my quirks, my insecurities and my hang ups without all of these my life wouldn't have been such an interesting journey.

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it's very hard to choose which ones should be in the list, it should be more than 5 however, these albums below really stand out, because when i put these records on i usually have this weird feeling that i am still wearing my plaid skirt and necktie eating banacue and drinking funchum while waiting for the bell to ring. anyhoo here are the 5 albums (and songs) that accompanied me throughout my highschool years.

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Gin Blossoms - New Miserable Experience
i first heard about the gin blossoms while i was watching mtv, adam curry was the vj for the us top 20, it was 6 in the evening on a saturday and i was home alone. "hey jealousy" was in the countdown i think it was number 12, it was 1993, i was growing my hair and had attitude problems. religion class was kicking my ass my grades were pretty bad but i didn't care, highschool's fun i said to myself. the following week when i got my allowance of 100 pesos (about $2) i immediately purchased their record a cassette tapes costs 90 pesos at that time so i had make do with 10 pesos for the whole week. a friend of mine thought that the song was titled "hey chelsea" laughed at her behind her back and didn't even have the decency to correct her, god i was such an immature snob .

Nirvana- Unplugged
learning to play the guitar was the biggest thing to hit our class, everybody lugged around their acoustic guitars and would play during recess and lunch time. instead i opted to learn the piano. nirvana's unplugged album came out around that time, everybody knew the opening chords for "come as you are" but fumbled with the rest of the songs. i learned a new word that year "horny", we had an assignment for our media class to play your favorite song and analyze its lyrics, my friend chose lithium, we started singing then the line "i'm so horny" came up, our teacher was peeved, we had no idea why, until an exchange student from canada told us what it meant, that made us shut up.

Weezer- blue album
undone the sweater song was on constant rotation. i was 13 going on 14, my grades were improving and i was suddenly hanging out with the "popular" crowd yet i still felt like an outsider, they liked boys and the boys liked them back, i on the other hand was too fat, too shy and too ugly for them, i started to smoke, my religion teacher accused me of cheating. i was sad but rivers cuomo made me laugh, weezer was different, it was okay to be different, but i didn't know it back then.

eraserheads- ultraelectromagneticpop
the eraserheads changed the perception of OPM (original pilipino music) tagalog songs were suddenly cool and so was chuck taylors. "pare ko" became an anthem for the brokenhearted, kolehiyalas started listening to their songs. we were juniors in highschool and our chemistry teacher was terrorizing us, i had to make a compost pit to pull up my grade. i was excited for summer to come because i was going to the states, i shaved my legs in preparation for the trip and did not regret the decision. got drunk for the first time had 8 shot of tequila and couple of shots of vodka. friendships were broken, new ones were formed. being 15 made me crazy.

smashing pumpkins- siamese dreams
almost everybody in my batch was born on 1979, i was born on 1980 but it didn't matter, "1979" became our song, it became our generation's song. graduation was fast approaching, our class had a lot of problems, a few of my classmates were kicked out, some got pregnant. college applications were filled out, i only took 2 entrance exams and got accepted to both,made up my mind to take up marketing because suddenly i just had to be practical, up to now i still regret that decision. i turned 16 two days before graduation and lost weight. i met a boy and fell for him hard...unrequited love sucks.

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Music and Me

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One of the most treasured memories I have of my childhood is sitting at our terrace at dusk on Sundays with my dad's stereo cranked all the way up, the four of us just sitting down, listening to the music sometimes talking,other times me and my brother doing our homework, but no matter what we were doing we were surrounded by melodies and words from various artists so diverse that sometimes i surprise myself and my friends about my knowledge of certain artists and songs so obscure that you only hear it on the am radio. Music was and still is a big part of my life, i think that's one legacy my father instilled in us. Songs, like certain smells, transports us back, memories can be so vivid that we remember what we were feeling, who was with us at that time, sometimes, even what we were wearing. i just wanted to make a little testimony of how music has affected my past, present and future and also relive certain events in my life through one of the most powerful medium of expression...music (plus our network is down so i can't really "work")

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Childhood

Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline, Superstar, Coming to America

when i was in kindergarten my dad used to travel a lot and i would cry everytime he leaves, so he would play neil diamond records for me so that i won't get hysterical when i wake up and find that he is not there anymore. well what do you know it worked, he would also put it on early in the morning to wake me and my brother up for school, he kept doing this until i was in fourth grade when i broke our turntable by scratching a record 'till the needle broke.

Elvis Presley - Devil in Disguise, Return to Sender
we really didn't have playmates when we were growing up, our house is located in a very busy street so you can't really go out and play, so me and my brother would find ways to entertain ourselves,we would put on elvis' records and he would start to lip synch it and i would just roll on the floor laughing. i particularly liked when he did return to sender because his expression is just hilarious what made it more amusing is that fact that he was around 5-6 at that time but he would know the words to the song, it would turn a boring summer day into something fun and silly

Simon and Garfunkel- Homeward Bound, Mrs. Robinson and the Boxer
i was in sixth grade i got bit by the NKOTB mania so i was constantly playing their songs till the tape broke, however i also started listening to simon and garfunkel on the sly and fell in love with their songs i would listen to it every night before i sleep it made me want to write songs (i started doing it but stopped because i sucked at it and i also threw away all my notebooks) oh, boys were also mean in sixth grade.

James Taylor - Sweet Baby James, Fire and Rain, You Got a Friend
summer before i started highschool, i spent it outside of the city, campaigning for the elections in our province. at night me and my cousins after a long day of going around town would sit outside of our house under the mango tree, fireflies everywhere, not bothered by the mosquitoes telling ghost stories and eating junk food.

Don McLean - Rocky Mountain High, Leaving on a Jet Plane

i have a revelation to make, i took voice lessons while i was in fourth grade, however i was also very shy, so the day before my recital i quit voice lessons because i didn't like the idea of singing infront of an audience and just sang in front of the mirror in my room with a flashlight for a microphone. leaving on the jet plane was part of my repertoire.

West Side Story Soundtrack - Various Artists
this is the first movie (non-animated) that made me cry. i borrowed the tape from my best friend for the summer and i would watch it over and over again. up to this day it still makes my eyes water.

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*to be continued

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just practiced a bit of html, man i'm such a dum-dum i still have my notes and it took me an hour just to post a really simple entry. i need to go back to school my brain is getting rusty

CVS for the Single's Soul

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i just remembered a funny thing that happened to me while i was standing in line at *CVS just minding my own business, when this tiny old woman appeared from nowhere like a little wood sprite (yes i'm feeling poetic right now) asked the woman behind the counter where she could find the condoms. can you believe that? an 80 year old woman getting a little something something, the visuals i had was too horrible to forget i tried to get rid of the mental picture that seem to be embedded in my cranium and just focus on the fact that this wrinkled being has a more exciting sex life than me a 22 year old woman who is supposed to be at the prime of her youth. i didn't expect that a routine trip to the local pharmacy would change my perception of sex and old age, i left CVS with a little flame of hope burning in my heart, i just have to wait my turn and maybe who knows one of these days i might just get lucky, although by the looks of it i might have to wait 60 years to finally get "some" but i'm a very patient person i didn't come this far just to give up, yes there is still hope ladies and gentlemen, i've seen the future and it comes in a from of an 80 year old woman limping her way towards the "hygiene aisle"... this little life realization is brought to you by CVS (i should get a commission for this plug)

*CVS Pharmacy

i can't read my posts anymore, they just launched another firewall in the office so i won't be able to check up my blog (so far i'm the only one reading it). i just flew in from california last night and getting off the plane and feeling the brisk cold air of the east coast slap my face made me say to myself "happy days are here again" i was supposed to fly back to dc on sunday, i did not tune in to the news ( bad nikki!!) so there i was up and ready at 4:30 am, waking up my cousin to drive me to the airport only to be told that Reagan National is closed and that DC is buried in snow. i took the news lightly, since monday is still a holiday so i won't miss work, so sunday night i tuned in to the news (i learned my lesson) it didn't look good but i was still optimistic (so far so good on the new year's resolutions) there might be a sliver of hope that the airport will be open, so like a good little girl i slept early and set my alarm for 4 am. 4 am...alarm rang... took a shower... woke up cousin and drove to the airport, by now the people behind the ticket counter recognized me already and before i even went up the counter they told me that the airports are still closed and that tuesday didn't look too good either, wednesday might be a bad time and thursday was the best time to fly out, i had to make a decision immediately since all the seats for wednesday's flight was filling up fast, well i took a deep breath and decided what the heck, i'd rather take my chances on wednesday (refer to new years resolution embrace life with optimism and reckless abandon, see i'm on a roll) i don't want to miss another day of work *rolls eyes* so i got booked for another flight, leaving sacramento at 6:20 am, 20 minutes earlier than my previous flight. the flight was okay no hitches, in fact we were early, frontier airlines was pretty good we had direct tv and the food was tolerable, they served us muffins for breakfast and for lunch we had some wrap and chips. i just realized that february-march isn't really a good month for me to fly, last year i also got stuck in the airport and got delayed for 2 days, this year the big blizzard happened and i was stranded in california (not that i'm complaining, i was wearing flip flops in february!!! how could i be disappointed) for an extra 3 days, hopefully in may i would have better luck. so that was my whole "adventure" i'm now back to reality with snot and phlegm galore souvenirs from sunny california. someone might be reading this blog (you know who you are) better keep your lips sealed (a la maurice arcache my palangga!!!) i'm still waiting for the url to your blog so you better send it to me or else! break na ta!! *muwah*

i'm going home in may, yahoo! i finally asked my boss if it was okay for me to take a vacation in may and he said yes. i know it's still 5 months away but i'm really excited. my cousin is getting married and i'm going to be one of the bridesmaids (my first time ever) i'm hoping that i won't be one of those girls who are always a bridesmaid never a bride (although right now i'm heading to that direction) anyway it's always exciting to come home and see all your friends and family. i can't believe that it's been almost a year since i took my philippine trip, however all the memories are still fresh, the sight and sounds are still vivid, i still remember the clothes i wore and what i was doing while i was wearing that particular shirt/pants/skirt, everything's still fresh that it scares me, do i really miss the philippines that much? am i really meant to be here in the states--thousand miles away from my family, is this really what i want? for how long am i willing to stay in my current job, should i quit and start school, should i go back to the philippines and get my masters there or should i just stay here and save up then go to school part time. i am bombarded by these questions all the time, and it's not helping that i'm gonna be 23 in march, being 23 means that i'm not getting any younger and that i should start doing something if i want things to improve in my life. i'm tired of the dormat life i'm leading, i'm tired of whining, i'm tired of being frustrated all the time, i'm tired...please rescue me from this limbo i call my life.

very interesting reads

my best friend is back home in the philippines, while i'm stuck here in the 20 degree weather at the office doing nothing oh well you win some you lose some. i'm trying to recall what i've learned from the html classes i took last october and so far i don't remember anything, it was beginner's html for goshsakes! and i'm useless without my notes, i need to practice maybe try to review. i haveto catch up, even 10 year olds know html and could design web pages. i'm so far behind it's not even funny.

last day of 2002, and i'm at work dozing off, i've been pretty bad with the updates lately, i'm having the annual attack of the winter blues so most of the time i'm just staring at the ceiling with tori amos in my cd player. i thought i was doing pretty okay up until these past couple of weeks when everything came crashing down again, i've been neglecting my paper journal also, so my little blog don't feel bad it's not you mommy's just having one of her "episodes". i'm going have run down of the stuff that happened to me for the past two months that i was in hiatus from blogger and i must warn you reading this might cause severe boredom, so have a paper cup ready in case you find yourself drooling

november
november flew by pretty quickly, november is usually the month that kills my checking account. november also marked my return to "young adulthood" by way going out to drink and then puking my brains out, so far that was just a fluke because now i'm back to my old ways (eating ramen noodles and vegging in front of the tv). november also meant shorter working hours for us here in the office, i had a month of regis and kelly that would last me a lifetime. thanksgiving is also celebrated on this festive month, we had a week off from work so i hopped on the plane to visit my family in florida, ahhh the deep south, there is no better way to spend your vacation than eating at all you can eat restos and stuffing yourself with artery clogging food. the weather was pretty chilly (i was expecting miami like weather but i forgot they lived in pensacola which is closer alabama and lousiana so i brought the wrong outfits doh! need a lesson in geography) but i'm sure glad i missed the snow storm in dc. i had a pretty good time there, it was fun hanging out with my cousins i was really sad when i went home, up to now i still miss them and i hope to visit them again one of these days, or better yet hope we could all fly back to the philippines in may.

december
december meant nicole frantically buying christmas gifts. for three weekends straight i was at the mall fighting my way through racks and racks of clothing. it was crazy! so now i've learned my lesson, that is to buy stuff online and as much as possible start christmas shopping in october, people have this crazed look in their eyes it's scary, they look like they're in some kind of a christmas trance i'm now scarred for life. i made it just in time for our "christmas party", i'm glad my friends liked their gifts, after all i risked getting trampled by hordes of eager shoppers so they better appreciate it. christmas eve rolled in and i found myself alone in my apartment, and for the first time since god knows when i started to cry and bawl like a new born babe, maybe it was the snow or the idea that i was spending christmas alone that made the tears flow, i didn't even have food to eat except a week old ham! lol i find it funny now but at that time i was so sad that i started to hate christmas (blasphemy!) and also my friends, for leaving me behind, kind of pathetic but i truly felt that way, however in hindsight i'm glad i spent christmas eve alone, it made me appreciate my family even more and made me realize that there's nothing wrong with solitude, it's a nice change of pace from all the craziness and drama.

so that's about it, 2003 is just 9 hours away, this year has been good to me got a lot to be thankful for, i was able to go home for the first time since i came to the states, i got introduced and met new people that i now consider my friends, i moved to dc and i'm 10x happier and healthier (it's all the walking i have to do), i started taking classes and became excited about learning again and finally i now see my being unattached as a blessing instead of a curse, i value my independence for it made stronger and more resilient. for 2003 my hopes are: to travel more, start studying again, learn a craft or two, do volunteer work, buy a laptop and just embrace life with optimism and reckless abandon. have a safe and wonderful holiday. i just wish all of you the best and take care always. i'll be back next year!!! cheers!!

This is what gets me through the day

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Saturday night and I'm at home eating ramen noodles, is that how it's supposed to be? I'm 22 years old and living away from home in a foreign country you should think that I'm living a pagan lifestyle, party all night and sleep all day but it's the exact opposite I'm usually asleep at 11 pm and wake at 9 to watch my cartoons I'm regressing I could relate more to 9 year olds than to 22 year olds, at least with the kiddies I'm cool, because I could talk about Sponge Bob Squarepants and Dexter's Laboratory without feeling silly I couldtotally relate with them. On the other hand when I'm with people my age I can be a total dork, case in point: earlier this evening while wating for the elevator, my crush from 5th floor was there, he was just standing there and I couldn't even talk properly to my roomie I was all like "duh..err..hehehe" I was blushing and he wasn't even talking to me sad...I couldn't look him straight in the eye, opportunity knocked and I didn't have the guts to grab it...totally ignored it,

My gosh it's the end of September already and I'm planning to go home again in January so that's like in 3 months! I haven't filed my vacation yet I do hope that they will let me have it, I mean I haven't missed work and I've been coming in on time and I usually leave the office after 5 so basically I've been a pretty good employee (well except for the whole long distance thing hehehehe). So yey! I'm pretty excited, Vans is also going home so I'm sure we're gonna have a blast, the gang is complete again, the last time we were all together was senior year in college and those were such fun times. In October I will start my computer classes at the it will be on the 10th, I can't wait I haven't been in a classroom for two years so I'm all psyched. Basically, I decided to do it because I figured might as well grab the opportunity, I don't really use my brain at work and when I go home I usually plop down in front of the telly and zone out, I might as well zone out in a classroom...

I'm still buzzing from the John Mayer concert, it was cool to finally see him play live and I don't care if most of the audience were younger than me I enjoyed it and the songs really hits home.

I just had chinese food and now I'm ready to take a nap. This is going to be a long day. I used to love summers, back when I had nothing to do all day but watch TV. Summer isn't really summer once you're done with school, it's just another season, like fall or spring. Just wanted to get that off my chest...back to work

I've come to a realization, I was comforting a friend of mine who was quite frustrated about her life. She tried to enroll in a local community college, but was discouraged when she saw how much it was per unit, since she lives in DC she is not qualified for in-state tuition, she is left with two possible solutions it's either she moves back to Virginia or take fewer units to alleviate the cost. If she does decides to move back to VA there is really no turning back for her, she has to look for a new place even buy a car, however if she takes some classes and suddenly realize that it was not meant for her (going back to school that is) it will be a waste of money. I feel really bad for her, it was a big step, taking control of your life, but it wasn't meant to be, maybe there are better and bigger opportunities for her, it really depends on how you look at it really it all comes down to the half-empty half-full way of thinking. I've talked to her about it and tried to make the glass half-full, I told her that there are a lot of things that we could still do, and probably going back to school will tie us down from doing it. I mean I still dream of travelling to far away places, and if I go back to school all my finances will be directed to paying my tuition, books and housing. I've figured that I will do it next year while I'm still single and still have month long paid vacations, that I should enjoy life and not think about monetary matters since I am only 22 and there are a lot more important things in life than money. It's funny how priorities shift all of a sudden, how your perspectives change just by one incident that happened to you indirectly. For the first time in two years, I see a glass that is half full.

Well all the moving stuff is done, I'm officially an urbanite (hahaha that's what my ex-roomie calls me now) So now I'm getting used to my new routine, which is very relaxed, I leave the apartment at 8:20 and it takes me about 20 minutes to get to the train station, I get to the office before 9 check my emails and start working. The only thing I hate in these long walks to the metro is the heat, by the time I reach the office I'm all sweaty and sticky (not a good way to start the day), I could handle the heat but the humidity just kills me (literally and figuratively lol). Speaking of painful deaths, I feel like I'm wasting away at the office, I am not challenged by my job, however, I can't just quit especially with the stock market situation here in the states, and there is also the thing called my visa. So I'm afraid I'm stuck here until a really good opportunity pops up (anybody interested in rescuing me?) When I was a kid I thought that being adult is very simple, finish school, find a job, get married, have kids,retire but once I got here it's more like pray to God that you pass college, find a job, find a job, find a job, work, work, work I guess your age is directly proportional to the frustrations you had/will encounter, being an adult is so overrated.

Been busy, busy with work which is good because my life makes sense again! *sarcasm*, busy with all the moving and packing, busy with unpacking, busy as a bumble bee. My cousin's wedding is tomorrow and I feel bad about missing it. Everybody went home to the Philippines except for me, I just don't have the money for plane fare and the timing isn't right (it's always about timing), since I just got back from vacation and also my lease ends this month, so even if I'm there my mind will still be thinking about rent and bills. The weather here in the east coast is f--ed up, one minute it's bright and sunny, the next minute it's all cloudy, rainy and muggy. I don't know what to write in this online blogger thing, just reading other people's blogs makes me rethink about the decision of getting one. Most blogs that I read are witty and funny, I guess I'm just trying too hard. Oh well if there are any people (maybe 0ne or two of you) reading this blog, please bear with me I'm new to this, feedbacks would be nice...promise I won't bite =)

*Sigh* hear that? that's relief for ya, my roomie made it back to the U.S. unscathed and I could finally enjoy my vacation in NY on Friday, I'm telling you you gotta have faith, God always comes through and so far my track record is pretty good and I don't want to be so cocky and jinx it oh well que sera sera. Nino spent the weekend here in DC we took him out saturday, we did the usual touristy suff like go to the White House, The Mall, Monuments and we made him walk, since we don't have a car he was forced to walk, it was good though because we had an excuse to pig out, and pig out we did it was a weekend of dust, heat and food kinda reminds me of the Philippines hehehehe...Today's hump day Thursday is Independence Day and I think we might take Friday off too, they haven't made the annoucement yet but they said that it was pretty sure, I guess they don't want us to make plans that's why they're all hush hush stupd government people. Hmmm..whatelse? I'm just trying to get through the day, I still have 3 more hours to go and I'm not looking forward to walking home, it's an oven out there it's like 95 degrees but the heat index is like 105! man I just have to leave the apartment at 7 then get a chance to cool off before going back to Virginia, I'm from the tropics but this is too much at least there in the PI I have a car and even if I get stuck in traffic I still have AC, *sigh* well summer time is here finally.

Argh! it's me again griping about the whole roommate thing, now word from her and I'm forced to pay the rent in full!! I tapped into my swiss bank account a.k.a. my savings so that I could pay it. Oh well, I hope that she made it or else...Nino is coming tomorrow!! I'm so excited, we're picking him up from Reagan at 1 pm I still have to do a lot of stuff like pack and try cleaning the apartment I also need to pick up the aero bed from my aunt's place, because up to now I still don't have a bed, I can't afford it (but I can afford to go to NY for the weekend) a girl just have to know how to prioritize and so far having fun and being with my friends is on top of my list instead of a buying stupid bed heheheheheh bad nikki

Well, well it's been a while ince I've updated, my roomie is currently in Canada, getting her G4 visa from the American consulate there so now that I've got the covered let me give a sigh of relief *sigh* and the only thing that we're waiting now is that could she come back to DC in time, which I have a feeling that she might hmmm...so far my instincts are correct, so I'll think I'll go with that. I'm currently broke, and my friend from Michigan is coming to visit us on Saturday (then we'll be heading off to NY on the 4th of July weekend) and that means tapping my savings for some spending money and using my trusty old visa, this will set me back for like a couple of months, but hey we're only young once and it's just money right?? uh? right? *sigh* I'm just trying to convice myself oh well it's working *grins*

So the good news is I got the apartment, we already signed the lease and paid the first month's rent, me and my roommate were already discussing what to do with the decorations and stuff, how to make our place look more than a a dorm room but a cozy apartment, and then I got the bad news. She called me last night and told me if I knew anyone from the Canadian Embassy or the State Department, apparently she was denied a Canadian visa (she needs to go out to Canada so that could issue her a G4 visa), so now everything is in limbo and I could end up roommate-less and penniless hmmm..why does it always happen to me???? I know it was too good to be true...well weird thing is if confronted with this dilemma I would curse and whine and be a big baby, well that was then, now I feel calm, cool and composed well maybe because it really hasn't hit me (i might start to panic once July hits and she's still visa-less), I just feel that if it's bound to happen it's bound to happen, I really couldn't do anything about it it wouldn't also do me any good if I run around panicking I would just end up stressed out which I don't want to I'm pretty sure that everything will work out for the best. Just gotta have a little faith

Ack! I'm really stressed out right now, last Tuesday I went ot look at this place in DC, the location was nie it was near to the metro, restaurants and the church it was/is perfect and to top it all off I have a roommate so the cost of living alone will no longer be in an issue. However they still ned to verify my employment, and requested a letter from our HR department, anyhoo I asked the person in charge of that if she could make me one, and she sid okay--that was yesterday and today she is out sick and the manager of the apartment building called me up and asked me about the letter because they have to make a decision and that my roommate already faxed hers, so now I have up to 6 pm to submit it to them. You don't know how it is here in the office a simple letter could take like 1 week to finish all the red tape you have to go through, all the incompetent people you have to deal with. It's just one lousy, stinking letter! so you know what I did, I wrote it myself and know I'm hoping that our supervisor will sign it or that if there are any corrections needed to be made, I would be informed a.s.a.p so that I would be able to make any changes and fax it. It's sooooo frustrating!!!! sometimes I just want to scream at them, no wonder employee morale is very low and that people here at the office are not motivated to work this sucks ass! argh!!!!!! I'm hoping that I could beat the deadline or else I would have to forfeit the place why oh why did it have to happen to me??? I know it's a pretty shallow thing to be upset with but I've had it up to here with this people, they always do this to me I feel like I've been shortchanged oh well don't blame me if I slack off work I'm just unmotivated...

Man we should have long weekends makes me feel rejuvinated to go back to work (yeah right)...I spent my Memorial Day Weekend doing some laundry, eating a lot of pizza and boating. Sunday we had a picnic at Pohick Bay in Lorton, VA typical Filipino party tons of people and tons of food the weather was perfect also, it's just one of those days that makes you wan to scream "I love life!". Monday I just stayed at home and catched up on sleazy talk shows, I couldn't stand watching some of them (well maybe I flipped back and forth I was a bit curious), where do they get these people? Anyway, me and friend we're talking about taking some classes in the local community college, and I got really excited I never realized how much I missed school and never imaginedthat I could miss school this much, I guess being stuck in a job that does not really require a lot of brain power makes you thirst for knowledge and it also does not help that when I get home from work I plop myself on the couch and watch TV. My parents say I always talk about going back to school but don't do anything about it I'm not getting younger and I believe now is the time to act on it, I'm all talk no action. I'm taking control of my life.

I just read my post and i sound really pathetic..and dumb..pretentious too oh well like anybody reads this anyway

Bored out of mind here at work, nothing to do it's just been so slow, I've come to a point that I just get up in the morning and ride the subway and come here to surf the web it's not helping me develop at all, I wish I could put all this "extra time" into good use instead of staring at the monitor for 8 hours a day. So so bored...bored of being bored....
An idle mind breeds idle thoughts..Boredom Kills...

I'm trying to call a friend of mine in Michigan, he keeps giving me these numbers that are either disconnected or is no longer in service hmmm..is he trying to tell me something?

My apartment hunting last Saturday was unsuccessful, I mean we did see some really awesome places but they were too expensive for me and my friend. I guess one option would be for me to just live alone and rent out a studio or a basement or something, since my friend could not make up her mind whether or not she will give up her place and also she still has to consider her roommate, it's getting complicated and I think for my peace of mind as well as theirs, living alone would be an option. Being alone would not be that bad, right now I'm practically living by myself since my roommate is either over at her bf's place or just sleeping for 24 hours straight. Oh well whatever will be will be. Anyhoo, work is still the same I'm still counting the minutes it's been pretty slow, it's becasue the students are all having their summer vacations and also the deadline for Fall 2002 is over, it will pick up again in August (argh!). Basically right now I'm just getting paid to surf the net, so it's a win-win situation. Well that's about it fr now..more updates later...

Oh well time to update again, is it May already? man the month went by so fast. I'm at work right now been working like a dog the entire morning and now I'm stuck with nothing to do, I have an hour more to go before I leave and meet up with my friends in Georgetown. I'm still looking for a place to move in to my lease will end soon and so far no leads, some are just too expensive for my budget I'm looking for an apartment that is near the metro so that i won't have to drive to work or take the bus, the housing market her is so competitive and I'm hoping that I could find a place before getting kicked out from my apartment. Anywayse, last weekend was okay I just stayed at home the weather was so nice so I just chilled at my balcony with a really good book and excellent music, life couldn't get any better than that..i think

Lunch at work always makes me miss my friends. I've been working here for a year now and I could count in one hand the times that my co-workers invited me for lunch. My office reminds me of highschool all these cliques, too afraid let people in their little groups, scared of changes, intimidated by someone who is different from them. I am an outsider. However, I don't take it personally, is it just me but eating leftovers for lunch alone inside your cubicle makes you miss you friends terribly.

Still unable to talk, our apartment is like an oven! I turned on the AC last night, middle of the night I was freezing, and it didn't help that I was coughing all night. Anyhoo my day is okay can't complain, the weather is beautiful it's in the near 90's and work is not that hectic compared to last week. I had quite a weekend, first of all I was sick and second I went cosmic bowling despite my illness. A friend of mine picked me up from my house at around 8 pm, I was supposed to meet him at 4 but I called him to cancel because I wasn't feeling too good and also they were planning to go to a Lingerie Party (and wanted to drag me) which would be really bad (for me anywayse) because they were all guys and I am the only female presence. So anyway he called at around 7 and told me to get ready because he's gonna pick me up, and so he did. We went bowling at around 10 pm the bowling alley was packed but we managed to secure a lane. Bowled for a bit, lost because my partner choked in the last minute we were leading but then he just completely choked! hehehehe. After bowling we went to Bethesda because one of the guys wanted to go dancing, so someone suggested to go to the Barking Dog when we got there it was already 1:00 so we had some drinks and just hanged out 'till closing and by the way the music there sucks! it felt like a Junior High Dance with all the songs they played like Jackson 5, The Village People, even Grease! We left at about 2:30 and my friends were like man we should go to the lingerie party so off we go to try to find the house, well bad directions made us miss the party, am sure they were dispappointed (not seeing some babes in sexy lingerie) I on the other hand was thanking the heavens.

I still can't breathe properly, I was awakened this morning by this sound, it sounded like somebody was snoring, and guess who it was??? it was me! Yep due to the congested nasal passages I woke myself up with my own snoring, instead of my alarm, what a great way to start the day! Anyway the weather is still crappy, and I was thinking about the whole roommate issue, I talked to my friend last night and she was still undecided, and I also asked myself that question, should I also take the next step? should I also go back to school? I defintely want to go back to school but because I don't have enough savings and my family is not well-off I'm forced to sit on my butt 9 hours a day, seven days a week, doing such mind numbing tasks, it's all routine now, my 4 year college education has gone down the drain. I'm really confused right now part of me wants to go back to the PI and continue my studies there and another part of me says that I should stay here, continue working and saving up then go back to school and become a teacher. It's like if I go home all my efforts (finding a job, being on my own) was just a waste of time and if I stay here it feels like I'm not going anywhere, I'm just gonna be stuck here doing the same job 'till I retire. Some people might say that's I'm still young, (22) and that I still have time to do all the things I want to do, I know that, but I just feel scared that if I keep on telling myself that I would, wake up one day and realize that the 22 year old girl is now an old, wrinkly and miserable woman.

Ayayay I hate being sick. My roommate was sick last week so I guess she passed her germs to me ugh! So anyway my lease ends this coming July and I'm already starting looking for a new place, since my current rent is quite steep and also I'm really not sure if I want to be roommates with my current one, it's a long story don't get me wrong she's a very dear friend but in my opinion she's not roomie material. Well my other friend and I were talking about rooming together, we were pretty excited about it. However when I went home to the Philippines her mom told me that she was planning to move to California this June and go to school there and I was like what?! I knew she was thinking about it, but I didn't know that she's starting this June. I talked to her Monday and I asked her if we're still going to be roommates and she was like "ummm..I'm not sure I might go back to school" and I asked her when are you planning to do that, she was like I don't know. It's soooooo frustrating, she doesn't even know what to take up, she doesn't even know when, she even told me that we can still be roomies but then she might leave so she will find someone who will replace her argh! well that's an okay idea but I don't want to be left hanging so anyway I told her that I'll just look for my own place and she should have told me earlier about that. Well she knows I'm a bit pissed, I'm just annoyed and sick.

It's been a week since I left the Philippines and gosh how I miss it!

I just came back from my vacation yesterday and now I'm back to work. I was supposed to arrive here on Monday the 25th but due to unavoidable cirsumstances (it's all Northwest's fault!) I was delayed and was forced to sepnd a night in Minneapolis. My vacation was fantastic, I was able to spend time with the family and ofcourse my friends. Our town is still the same, same old people, but a lot of things also changed the mere fact that all my friends are working now made me realize how I hated being an adult. I guess I just expected too much from them and didn't really put into consideration that they have other priorities other than partying and hanging out, but I could really feel that they really tried to spend a lot of time with me and I appreciate that. I'm also happy because in the short time that I was there I was able to bond with my dad again, I haven't seen him and two years and it was such a good feeling to hang out with him and just talk to him. Sad to say I got bored, I guess just staying at home and watching TV made a bit restless but then now that I'm here even if it's been only 3 days I feel a tinge of homesickness, I guess it will pass but how I wish that I could have stayed there a little bit longer or even for good. I know that I have a good future here in the states, and that I'm lucky to have a job and to have a support system here in Virginia, I guess I just have to be strong, what does not kill you only makes you stronger right??

It's Valentine's Day and I forgot about it, I almost wore red and I suddenly realized that it's the 14th and I really don't want to wear red on a holiday that thrives on anything red (crimson, pink or whatever). I guess being single, makes you forget such events it's not a big deal aywayse what makes Valentine's day special to me is that it is my Grandma's birthday. My "lola" who in my opinion is one of the greatest cooks there is, my lola whose homecooking I miss, my lola who would allow me to cut classes and go with her to play mah jong (my mom caught me btw and I was severly punished), my lola who is such a complex person but I love her anywayse, my lola who is sick right now and I'm praying for her to get well really soon, my lola who I will see and hug again on Monday. Happy Birthday Lola thanks for everything=)..and to all you people out there Happy Heart's Day! =) I'm out

Four more days and counting, I can't believe that this coming Saturday I will be on a plane en route to the Philippines. I wasn't even sure that I could go home, there was something wrong with my ID number in the state department and they were not sure if I could travel outside of the U.S., but fortunately it was all cleared out and now I'm all set to go home. Work has been stressful this couple of weeks my computer had a virus so I really couldn't do anything at all, I'm using another person's computer, so that I could do some of my research and finish my work but lookie here I'm blogging! hehehehehe. Anywayse, I'm not sure if i could update my blog while in the Philippines (as if anybody reads my blogs!) but I'll try to check in once in a while and try to update. Four more days and I'm homeward bound =) woo-hoo!!!

I finally watched the Fellowship of the Ring last night, and I found it quite entertaining. I was kinda annoyed because I already read the book so the element of surprise has diminished, but all in all it was a pretty cool movie. I won't elaborate on that because I'm sure the people are all sick and tired of reading about the Hobbits and the Elves. So that was my evening nothing exciting but it's the lastest (11 pm) I've been out since God knows when, I'm getting old I'm telling ya. I guess I'm just reserving my energy, because I have a feeling that when I go back to the PI sleep would be a luxury, so until then I'll just be a hermit and lock myself in my apartment

My mom left last Friday and things are slowly returning back to normal. My apartment is quiet now, and I'm once again alone. We had a pretty good time, we were able to go up to New York and see old friends. I did not cry at all it was not what I expected it to be, I was okay with her leaving me, I got used to being alone. I'm a thousand miles away from my family, it's been almost two years since I left the Philippines and in less than a month I'm going home. I'm finally going home and it's such a wonderful feeling to be able to finally say that.

hilarious!!

In less than one week I'll be flying off to California! Gosh I'm so happy. Work is okay I mean work is work it becomes a routine for me, there is no real challenge I sometimes feel that college really did not help me at all, I'm afraid to admit to myself that I made a bad decision, taking up another major, a major that I thought at that time was perfect for me. I guess I was too scared to take a risk or I was just too impulsive, I wanted to be "cool" and I wanted to live the high life so to speak so I took up Marketing, and now I'm in a job which is not even related to it, in fact it is the exact opposite and the only thing that keeps me going is the reality that I'm independent and that I know what I want now. I want to be a Teacher.