a little note to myself

january 3, 2009

this too shall pass...

right now i am just living my life one day at a time. i feel that if i think too much about my future i will just end up feeling frustrated, disappointed and worse a complete and utter failure. i have learned how to accept whatever life throws at me, i am already so battered and bruised that i think one more curve ball won't even make a difference. if this happened to me when i was in my early 20s i don't know what i have done. everyday i am thankful that i have such a supportive and loving family. my friends who are always encouraging me and listening to whatever ramblings i might have. anyway this is not intended as a sad entry but instead a reminder to myself that despite whatever BS i am going through i am still blessed.

{{{{{{{

old school
1983

Friday Funday

today at school i gave my camera to two of my children and asked them to take pictures around the playground. the results were amazing, i did not expect them to take such great pictures. today is is just one of those days that you wish would last forever, this beats sitting inside the office 8 hours a day...

----------
pictures courtesy of kelli (5) and curtis (5)

tire
shoot and run
run

hanging around
nature's jungle gym
crazy teacher who aged 10 years

------------

Freedom

puerto rico
2006

-------

a lot of things were bothering me these past couple of weeks. to say that i was stressed was an understatement. fast forward to today, all those issues have been resolved and now i am somewhat free. now i feel really weird, i am not used to this "freedom". last night i woke up a couple times looking for the familiar knot in the pit of the stomach instead i felt nothing. i have been in an anxiety ridden existence these past couple of months that i forgot how it felt to have a worry-free life. anyway i should not complain but it's just a completely different feeling. i wish my life was a musical so that i could break out into a song and dance routine without looking like a crazy person.

a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day:

anna: ms. a do you have a house?
me: yes
anna: do you have parents
me: yes i have parents
anna: what is your mommy's name?
me: tina
anna: what is your daddy's name?
me: ed
me: what is your mommy's name?
anna: she does not have one.

the weekend

flew to DC for the weekend, not a smart move.

i basically did not sleep the entire 4 days so now i feel like i am having an out of body experience. 5 minutes ago i hit my head against the wall thus leaving a lovely bump on my forehead. so now i think i found a cure to exhaustion and that is banging your head against a concrete wall, if that won't wake you up i don't know what else will.

it's weird being in DC. i was gone for almost 2 years but it felt like i've been away for only a week.

i got a little wake up call this weekend. my faith has been tested this past two years, a little incident on friday set me right back on track. there really are angels here on earth.

it's nice to be back in california although i had to convince myself as i was riding the cab to the airport.

today i feel blessed.

-----------
k street, NW
washington, dc
2/15/09
-------------