Lunch at work always makes me miss my friends. I've been working here for a year now and I could count in one hand the times that my co-workers invited me for lunch. My office reminds me of highschool all these cliques, too afraid let people in their little groups, scared of changes, intimidated by someone who is different from them. I am an outsider. However, I don't take it personally, is it just me but eating leftovers for lunch alone inside your cubicle makes you miss you friends terribly.

Still unable to talk, our apartment is like an oven! I turned on the AC last night, middle of the night I was freezing, and it didn't help that I was coughing all night. Anyhoo my day is okay can't complain, the weather is beautiful it's in the near 90's and work is not that hectic compared to last week. I had quite a weekend, first of all I was sick and second I went cosmic bowling despite my illness. A friend of mine picked me up from my house at around 8 pm, I was supposed to meet him at 4 but I called him to cancel because I wasn't feeling too good and also they were planning to go to a Lingerie Party (and wanted to drag me) which would be really bad (for me anywayse) because they were all guys and I am the only female presence. So anyway he called at around 7 and told me to get ready because he's gonna pick me up, and so he did. We went bowling at around 10 pm the bowling alley was packed but we managed to secure a lane. Bowled for a bit, lost because my partner choked in the last minute we were leading but then he just completely choked! hehehehe. After bowling we went to Bethesda because one of the guys wanted to go dancing, so someone suggested to go to the Barking Dog when we got there it was already 1:00 so we had some drinks and just hanged out 'till closing and by the way the music there sucks! it felt like a Junior High Dance with all the songs they played like Jackson 5, The Village People, even Grease! We left at about 2:30 and my friends were like man we should go to the lingerie party so off we go to try to find the house, well bad directions made us miss the party, am sure they were dispappointed (not seeing some babes in sexy lingerie) I on the other hand was thanking the heavens.

I still can't breathe properly, I was awakened this morning by this sound, it sounded like somebody was snoring, and guess who it was??? it was me! Yep due to the congested nasal passages I woke myself up with my own snoring, instead of my alarm, what a great way to start the day! Anyway the weather is still crappy, and I was thinking about the whole roommate issue, I talked to my friend last night and she was still undecided, and I also asked myself that question, should I also take the next step? should I also go back to school? I defintely want to go back to school but because I don't have enough savings and my family is not well-off I'm forced to sit on my butt 9 hours a day, seven days a week, doing such mind numbing tasks, it's all routine now, my 4 year college education has gone down the drain. I'm really confused right now part of me wants to go back to the PI and continue my studies there and another part of me says that I should stay here, continue working and saving up then go back to school and become a teacher. It's like if I go home all my efforts (finding a job, being on my own) was just a waste of time and if I stay here it feels like I'm not going anywhere, I'm just gonna be stuck here doing the same job 'till I retire. Some people might say that's I'm still young, (22) and that I still have time to do all the things I want to do, I know that, but I just feel scared that if I keep on telling myself that I would, wake up one day and realize that the 22 year old girl is now an old, wrinkly and miserable woman.

Ayayay I hate being sick. My roommate was sick last week so I guess she passed her germs to me ugh! So anyway my lease ends this coming July and I'm already starting looking for a new place, since my current rent is quite steep and also I'm really not sure if I want to be roommates with my current one, it's a long story don't get me wrong she's a very dear friend but in my opinion she's not roomie material. Well my other friend and I were talking about rooming together, we were pretty excited about it. However when I went home to the Philippines her mom told me that she was planning to move to California this June and go to school there and I was like what?! I knew she was thinking about it, but I didn't know that she's starting this June. I talked to her Monday and I asked her if we're still going to be roommates and she was like "ummm..I'm not sure I might go back to school" and I asked her when are you planning to do that, she was like I don't know. It's soooooo frustrating, she doesn't even know what to take up, she doesn't even know when, she even told me that we can still be roomies but then she might leave so she will find someone who will replace her argh! well that's an okay idea but I don't want to be left hanging so anyway I told her that I'll just look for my own place and she should have told me earlier about that. Well she knows I'm a bit pissed, I'm just annoyed and sick.

It's been a week since I left the Philippines and gosh how I miss it!