it's not you it's me

today during carline i saw rex's 2 year old sister junie

junie: what's your name?

me: i'm nicole, what's your name?

junie: junie

junie: how old are you? are you 6?

me: hmmm..i'm a little older than 6

rex: she's 30

i guess when you're 2, 6 is pretty old

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i have noticed that my patience is getting shorter and shorter these past couple of days

i would like to say it's a monthly woman thing but i don't really think so

sad to say i am slowly falling out of love

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spring come soon

we need your warmth

2011

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"they don't love you like i love you"

yeah yeah yeahs, maps

be still my heart

vanana yogurt + blueberries = nicole a very happy camper

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once again i'm in love

i don't know if my heart could take it

be still my heart

first the tangerines and now the succulent blueberries

oh i know i will dream about you tonight

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i am thankful for my busy schedule this week

because you know what they say, an idle mind breeds very dangerous thoughts

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"And so the shattering shards of glass fell,
And glistened this way and that,
But she would say I won't find my way through the plaster;
I'm an empty hourglass in the sand,

But she loves me,
More than anyone who wouldn't speak like that.
She keeps mace spray,
For you can't rely on the common man"

-mace spray, the jezabels

a ray hope

stop haunting my dreams please

thailand 2010

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i am not looking forward to next week

i know i should be doing some work but i am not in the mood

tomorrow i promise, i will chain myself in front of my laptop and work, work, work

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you sort of renewed my faith in mankind

but i still have my doubts

don't get me wrong i really appreciate it

let's just hope things will get better.

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watching garden state right now

oh the memories

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on repeat

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reunited

my new best friends

heine and squiddy

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thank you for coming through

:)

sending out an S.O.S.

right now i am trying out the power of mental telepathy

to the person i am trying to communicate you better deliver

the reputation of mankind is in your hands

i'm afraid if you disappoint me i would tear my hair out and curse the heavens

and i will be never be the same again

oh boy, i thought i was ready for this (apparently not)

*sending*

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i have always loved the postal service's song - such great heights but this morning i really listened to the lyrics and i didn't realize how beautifully written the song was.

"I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images

And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

I have to speculate

That God himself did make

Us into corresponding shapes

Like puzzle pieces from the clay"

freckles will never be the same for me, because of this song i would always think of them as constellations.

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once again i need a stiff drink

i can't wait for this week to be over

i am so over teaching...

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feeling homesick

so i opened a can

and had a little taste of home

falling off the wagon

i have been unfaithful and for that i am sorry

vanana yogurt you still make my heart go boom boom boom

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my children make me want to drink- A LOT

i think i jinxed it because last week i told my supervisor how happy i am that the class has finally settled, how hopeful i am and how i am so proud of them

me and my big mouth

today was one of those days that you just want to lock yourself in the bathroom and scream

before i go to bed i will think of unicorns,puppies and rainbows so that tomorrow i would have fluff to compensate for all the chaos.

again Lord please give me strength.

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on a very weird note, this morning while at work i felt very sick so i ran to the bathroom and threw up

i think that was a sign that today was going to be a challenge

very strange, indeed

my friend joked that i might be pregnant

yeah right and i am maria montessori.

sweet dreams...

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once again, i heard a song that made me miss the chikiting patrol

let's go back to 1998

back in the day when we would pile up in hannah's car and drive around the city

no bills to pay, no meetings, no retirement funds

no worries.

in the mood for food

my loot

cereal, cereal and more cereal

i got lucky because these cuties are so sweet

everytime i close my eyes and i could just taste them in my mouth

so juicy, so refreshing, so sweet

i have to stop myself from devouring them

i don't know why but i just find myself making these ridiculous poems about fruits

i guess i am in a poetry spewing mood

time seems to be standing still...

i am waiting

i am hoping

please, please, please...

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while going to work i heard live's lightning crashes the radio

took me back...

for old time's sake here it is...

great expectations

thank you sun...

2011

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i am feeling hopeful but i know i shouldn't be.

it's like watching a car wreck, you know it's going to be ugly but you still look at it

when will you ever learn nicole?

i am scared to death

and yet i can't stop smiling...

God help me, i am going for the gold.

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mortimer

my little mortimer in action

december 2010

just perm-tastic

in my life, i believe i have very few regrets.

i always lived by my personal mantra: no regrets

however these past couple of weeks i realized that recently, more precisely 6 months ago i made a very rash decision that resulted to this journey of self discovery. after months and months of making excuses i finally admitted to myself that i regret having my hair PERMED! i truly and utterly regret it. i miss my old, wavy, unruly yet manageable hair. i miss it so much that i look at pictures taken before perming (or B.P.) and just ache. my heart aches for straight hair. i tried cutting it but then the blasted curls just cling, like pond scum. i might take drastic measures and just cut my hair really, really short but i am still gathering the courage. anyway i just wanted to get it out of my chest. i HATE walking around like an english sheepdog with matted hair. so while i'm still thinking of a solution on how to solve this problem i guess i would just have to get used to seeing one giant hairball looking back at me every morning.

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in between blinks

the mckinley neighborhood

2011

"Running from the street lights
Shinning on the grave
Once you've had the good stuff
Never gonna fill you up
I wanna be the one who
Gives em all the world
And gives em all a feel of it
Just a little taste of it"

-kings of leon, the end

i think i need to run

today sacramento skies were overcast and gray but much warmer
although i did see a little splash of color on the sidewalk, i wonder what happened to the owner of this pair?

while walking i saw:

two old ladies holding hands - finding true love at last?
a huge labrador biting on a soccer ball crossing the street - interesting?
empty egg shells under the bridge - must have been hungry

p.s. i need to stop watching confessions: animal hoarding
p.p.s. back to work tomorrow, oh Lord please give me strength

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ode to my tomato

oh such a lovely tomato!
so plump and juicy it felt like a crime chopping you up
now you are swimming in the pot, bubbling and boiling
my plump juicy tomato

KOL

"i won't ever be your cornerstone"
i have been listening to their new album over and over again
and now i am craving cigarettes

oddities

wonder twins

december 2010

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hello 2011

the jury is still out on you...

i am not so keen about odd numbered years, i don't know why, but odd numbers just seem to be...well....odd

i did not go to work today, i didn't expect to get sick this early in the year. it's been quite cold here in sacramento no to mention i deal with germ carriers (a.k.a. children) every day

when you're sick you miss you family even more.

what i wouldn't give for someone to make soup for me.