work is a four letter work

i was supposed to do work today

parent teacher conferences are on friday and i got tons of paperwork to do but then once again i got sidetracked

caught up with my best friends in NY, spent almost 2 hours talking to them

it was really nice to catch up, i think i haven't laughed this hard in such a long time

i miss talking to them, i feel like i can tell them anything without feeling judged

there are no secrets between us and for me that is what friendship is all about, trust and respect

our lives are an open book, what you see is what you get

i love my friends!!

anyway i promise tomorrow there will be no distractions it will just be me and my progress reports.

---

february is almost over!

it went by pretty fast

it was a good month but i am hoping march will be better

--

i braved the traffic on florin for these babies

february 2011

baby it's cold outside

i am not a dancer nor do i like to dance but then every time i hear this i find my foot just tapping

in my head i am making some serious moves

too young, phoenix

---

brrrr...

spent my sunday safe and sound in my apartment

i listened to music, read, napped and drank tea

now i am ready to tackle another week with my little hell raisers

i hope this week will be quick and painless

:)

holding back

this is what happiness looks like :)

my little niece bridgette

february 2011

---

i can't seem to sit still

this is very confusing

p.s. thank you for warming my feet :)

and for allowing me to invade your personal space, it meant a lot...

---

it's pretty cold here in sacramento

i just realized i forgot to cover our vegetable garden at school, i hope our vegetables will survive this frosty weekend

everytime i think about our broccoli i feel so bad (sorry sweet pea, chard and kale!!)

i was supposed to put a tarp over it on friday but my mind was somewhere else that i didn't realize it until tonight

like i said plants and nicole don't mix

---

such witty lyrics

"when your lucid you are the sweetest thing

i would trade y mother to hear you sing"

sweetest thing, camera obscura

almost there...

"i can't believe this is happening!"

august 2010

---

there is a little skip to my step

a certain excitement within me

frequent smiles and butterflies in my stomach

spring must be coming

a glimmer of something wonderful

hello long beach

from my hotel window

february 2011

---

so rex what did you do yesterday?

rex: well we went to a park that had a wishing well

me: did you make a wish?

rex: yes

me: do you mind sharing what it was?

rex: yeah

me: what is it?

rex: i wish i could eat ice cream every day.

being 4 is so uncomplicated

---

everyday i am just looking for tiny miracles

this morning my class was absolutely wonderful

it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop

i was so amazed

maybe there is hope

----

i know i always say i am in love

but i just can't help it!

to phrase it very delicately i super, duper, over the moon and back like this song

"Misery is all we know lately
Saturdays are all the same
Sympathy is overrated
Like a snapshot when you've lost the game

Now it's the funeral I become the serial killer of us all
Now it's the funeral I become the serial killer of us all

No I don't wanna get thrown in your ocean
Don't try
You know that we already know you
It's over

At your, own burial don't forget to cry
At your, own burial

Looking at my 81st birthday
Everyday this body goes to waste
Remembering how I would raise an army when we went back to your place

Now it's the funeral I become a serial killer of us all
Now it's the funeral I become a serial killer of us all
No I, don't wanna get thrown in your ocean
Don't try, you know that we already know you
It's over

At your own burial, don't forget to cry
At your own burial"

burial, miike snow

it's a matter of timing

6 years old over again

february 2011

---

a good friend of mine fractured his ankle over the weekend so right now he is on crutches for 4 weeks

the reason? he doesn't even know, he was too drunk to even remember what happened

anyway the moral of the story? don't maneuver the icy streets of new your while under the influence

better yet know your limits and learn how to say no to yourself

i hope he finally learned his lesson.

---

time is standing still once again

there is a certain buzz in the air, i am excited but i don't know why

humming this song

"is it real now? when two people become one"

is it friday yet?

finger play

hi

sparkly blue nail polish

courtesy of hannah :)

february 2011

---

my aunt cooked adobo yesterday and i didn't realize how much i miss it

i am having it for lunch and dinner everyday

cholesterol galore, sorry heart, stomach and liver

i will eat more oatmeal and vegetables next week but for now let me indulge

a little taste of lola's homecooking

4 day work week but it always feels like 6

i wish i could fast forward to friday

---

my guilty pleasure right now is ke$ha

shhhh...

clicked my heel 3 times and here i am...

spent 2 days listening to someone talk while trying my best not to fall asleep

it was college all over again

long beach, february 2011

---

i am so glad to be back home

long beach was nice, it would have been better if it wasn't raining most of the time

it wasn't as bad as i expected it to be, you could say the weekend was pleasant

i tried to be incognito and discreet but that plan backfired it seemed that there was a big red arrow pointing at me that the people i was trying avoid found me. surprisingly they were all pleasant, big boss even gave me a big hug it was so surreal. she kind of offered my old job back but ofcourse i politely declined, i will always be grateful for the opportunity to work for them but if i want to grow as a teacher i had to leave my comfort zone and start anew. right now i am really struggling and sometimes i feel like such a failure but talking to the other teachers made me feel better and gave me the encouragement that i needed to try a little harder, and maybe pray a little harder

--

i am currently in love with this song

such a nice little discovery

it sums up what i am feeling right now

noah and the whale, blue skies

BRB

leaving for the dreaded conference tomorrow

i have to wake up at 4 AM because our flight leaves at 6:55 and i'm carpooling with some people

ugh

i hope i don't bump into my old boss and her sidekick because that would just ruin this mini vacation

although i am looking forward to seeing old friends and catching up with them so i should just think about that instead of thinking about avoiding certain individuals.

talking to "friend" made me realize that i complain too much

so maybe i'll just shut up for now

i will see you in 2 days...

---

i wish i was going to this beach

instead of the one i'm going tomorrow

2010

live responsibly

this morning i realized that i didn't lock my door last night

very responsible, nicole

---

for valentine's day one of the student's gave me a plant normally i would leave it at school and just let nature takes its course (meaning just let it die) but then i decided to take it home so now it's perched on my kitchen window and everyday i am hoping that i will not kill it. i once killed a cactus, i killed a plant that can survive in very harsh weather conditions, i think i watered it too much or something like that. anyway let's just see how this goes so far it still looks alive *crossing fingers*

----

my mystery dish

february 2011

---

today's soundtrack:

(i don't think i'll ever get tired of this song)

"Kay tagal kong sinusuyod
Ang buong mundo
Para hanapin,
Para hanapin ka"

while we are on that subject...

i was supposed to do work

instead i got side tracked

february 2011

----

i took a nap today

i feel like it's going to be a long night

i don't want to go to long beach this weekend

i really, really don't want to go

i am watching glee as i am typing this

the blonde guy is singing justin beiber's song, baby baby

it's just too painful to watch and listen

----

if there is a song for what i'm going through right now

this would be it.

how long am i supposed to wait?

i think about you nightly

oh can you tell i'm losing sleep

what am i supposed to do

it's hard to stay cool

-can you tell, ra ra riot

faded

happy hearts day!

february 2011

---

happy birthday lola

i can't believe it has been 6 years

it's very strange that i forgot the sound of your voice but i can still remember what you smelled like (powder, perfume and cigarettes)

i remember everything about you except your voice and it makes me very sad

i miss you very much

i love you and i will always be grateful for your last gift to me, i will treasure it forever, locked away in a special place in my heart. i am glad the two of us were able to share it together. i feel blessed.

thank you for watching over us

until we meet again...

----

"You look darkly on the day
With memories to light your way
A little sad but it's all right
We are always living in twilight

No one knocks upon your door
Until you don't care anymore
A little alone but it's all right
We are always living in twilight

Living in a dream, walking in between the sunrise and sunset
Living in a dream, walking in between sunset and sunrise

You get tied up in your day, so I let go and walk away
And now we're loose ends of the night
We are always living in twilight

So it goes, though no one knows you like they used to do
Have a drink the sky is sinking toward a deeper blue
And you're still all right
Step out into twilight

So I stumble home at night
Like I've stumbled through my life
With ghosts and visions in my sight
We are always living in twilight"

-living in twilight, the weepies

underachievers please try harder

cutting hearts for 27 people is no fun, no fun at all

speaking of hearts, i almost had a heart attack today, while i was driving i saw a police car with it's lights on i really thought that i will get pulled over for speeding but then it turned out the be car next to me.

thank you guardian angel

i am going to long beach on friday and i am dreading it

why oh why am i attending that stupid conference?

---

the bar has been set

and it's pretty low

february 2011

---

fridays are fun

2008

black and white in sin city

------

watched this movie tonight

it was very simple movie and i love the animation and the little touches

the story was a bit of a downer we came out of the theater with a lot of questions

but other than that it was a pleasant experience

it was my first time watching at the crest theater in downtown

i loved the architecture and the feel of it, loved the color of the seats, which was turquoise and red orange! how cute

i wish i took pictures but i didn't want to embarrass my friend

anyway you could say it was a good end to the work week

thank you friend :)

----

"nicole, i don't want to get shot by cupid's arrow, i don't want to fall in love and i don't want to kiss girls"

aidan, 5

(side story, it's valentine's day on monday and one of my children brought in a picture with a cupid on it so ofcourse the whole class wanted to know what's that baby with an arrow so i briefly explained that he was called cupid and he's not real but long, long time people in greece believed in him. the story goes that cupid makes people fall in love. when you get hit by cupid's arrow, you won't die instead you will fall in love, so after telling that story a couple of boys came up to me and expressed their disdain over the idea of liking girls and this stood out)

----

i can't wait for summer

news from the war front

this afternoon rex and i were organizing the moveable alphabet

me: here rex do you think you can find the compartment for "P"?

rex: oh yes "P" like the "P" that comes out of your penis

me: hmmm...it seems that you are right again rex

kids say the most bizarre yet very accurate things

----

for dinner i snacked on raw ramen noodles and 4 pieces of butterscotch

i had to stop myself from opening a bottle of beer

to be healthy i decided to scrub and scour the bathroom

so now my hands smell like bleach and my bathroom looks sparkling clean

i'm going to sleep well tonight

----

unexpected development

the magic number is 3

i hope there's more to come.

----

coby and his magic box

christmas 2010

a quick update

i see squares, lots of them

2010

---

as i was watching this movie i promised myself that i wouldn't cry

however, if you know me you could probably guess that i totally broke my promise

*sniff*

---

"nicole, where is heaven?"

a very profound question coming from a 3 year old

---

i smell change

my little beacon of hope

rex and his addition strip board

notice the tongue sticking out

taken at 9:20 this morning

february 8, 2011

---

i have been second guessing myself a lot these days

there are times when i just stand in the middle of the room and think to myself "what the *bleep* am i doing here?"

i dislike that feeling of helplessness

i know, you probably think that i am just being too dramatic and that i only complain but i never do anything about it

and you know what? you are completely right

i love to talk about my feelings but when it comes to taking action i am just a big slacker

thinking about it i finally decided that i will start thinking of ways to change my approach towards my class and myself as a teacher because so far all the methods i have been using backfired on me

it will take a tremendous effort to do it and i know there will be times when i would revert back to my old habits acknowledging the fact that i need to re-evaluate my classroom management is the first step, took me 6 months but hey it's better late than never.

good intentions are always important but it is useless if you don't take action.

verbalizing and writing it down makes it very real

please wish me luck...

---

making the first move is always hard

i made my move and now it's your turn...

whatever will be, will be :)

thanks for making me smile even if it's just for a short while.

----

good intentions, toad the wet sprocket

drama fever

i am in too deep

---

i thought my killer week was over but actually there's a sequel

february is kind of kicking my butt

---

my little hell raisers were actually pretty good today, although all of that might change tomorrow

everyday is an adventure

---

cold turkey

sanity, i am getting there

malaysia, 2010

--

i miss sleep

i miss vegetables

---

i am seriously thinking about deleting my facebook account

seriously ( i just had to say it twice so that i can prove my very serious intent)

it's getting on my nerves and it doesn't help that i feel like i have to check it 100 times a day

because if i don't i will be out of the loop

i don't want messages to be posted on my wall

i want emails sent to my personal email account

if you want to know how i am doing give me a call

make it personal

it's just getting a little bit old

so in lieu of this sentiment i will delete the facebook app on my iphone to avoid temptation

i will not log in

if i get a wall post or a message i will just ignore it, if it's important they know where to find me.

---

loving this song

"No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs"

very beautiful indeed...

things that make you go yum

today at school the children and i were talking about termites

i explained to them that termites like to eat wood

ofcourse that information just fascinated rex so he spent the most part of the afternoon asking me if the termites will eat the desk or the shelves because it is made out of wood. anyway i told rex not to worry because termites prefer dead, rotting wood, and i said our tables are not old or rotting. he asked me what does rotting wood look like, so i i said it loses it's color and it becomes very dark, almost black. well at the end of the day while i was busy giving a lesson, rex comes up to me and tells me that he has blonde hair and blonde is not a color, i nodded and said you are completely right rex. then he comes closer and tells me nicole you have black hair, your hair looks like dead wood.

that was the punchline, my hair looked like DEAD WOOD.

thanks rex!

-----

today was a very bad food day for me

for breakfast i had scrambled eggs (3), 3 pieces of butterscotch and nesvita (chocolate malt flavor)

it was no that bad but the butterscotch threw me off

i didn't make lunch so i thought i was just going to grab a sandwich

then when i went to the staff room someone brought cake and pork buns

so ofcourse i just had to eat it.

i had 2 slices of cake, 1 pork bun, 1 fortune cookie, and 3 pieces of peanut candy

for dinner a friend of mine took me to this italian restaurant downtown

and since i only had junk for lunch i was starving

i ate 5 pieces of bread, canneloni stuffed with chicken, sundried tomatoes, spinach and mushrooms, soaked in bechamel sauce with ricotta and parmesan cheese and then i wasn't satisfied i had to order dessert and i chose a zabaione which is made with egg yolk, sugar and sweet wine with different kinds of berries

it was so good, i was tearing up while devouring my dinner

however after the buzz, i came crashing down

let's just say very guilty is an understatement

---

fried catfish and papaya salad i will dream about you tonight

2010

hypothetically speaking...

i was craving chinese food and then i realized it was chinese new year

absence makes the heart grow fonder

out of sight, out of mind

blah blah blah

i should stop thinking about "stuff"

----

typical lunch break

buying a bag of crickets for our toads and tarantula

oh the life of a teacher

february 2011

---

let's go back in time

if you miss the 90's

say YEAH!

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

short and sweet

you just have to look a little closer

bangkok at dusk

2010

----

hello february!

i have a feeling that you will be a blur but don't worry i still love you

i see reds, pinks and hearts everywhere so i am fully aware that you are here

i promise not to over indulge myself with sweets in your honor because i think you deserve better than that

anyway here's to first loves, unrequited love and heartbreak

i am looking forward to you february

===

"I, I still remember
How you looked
That afternoon
There was only you
You said "it's just like a full moon"
Blood beats faster in our veins
We left our trousers by the canal
And our fingers, they almost touched

You should have asked me for it
I would have been brave
You should have asked me for it
How could I say no?
And our love could have soared
Over playgrounds and rooftops
Every park bench screams your name
I kept your tie
I'd have gone whereever you wanted

(I still remember)
(I still remember)

And on that teachers' training day
We wrote our names on every train
Laughed at the people off to work
So monochrome and so lukewarm
And I could see our days are becoming nights
I could feel your heartbeat across the grass
We should have run
I would go with you anywhere
I should have kissed you by the water

You should have asked me for it
I would have been brave
You should have asked me for it
How could I say no?
And our love could have soared
Over playgrounds and rooftops
Every park bench screams your name
I kept your tie
I would let you if you asked me"

i still remember, bloc party