rex: well we went to a park that had a wishing well
me: did you make a wish?
rex: yes
me: do you mind sharing what it was?
rex: yeah
me: what is it?
rex: i wish i could eat ice cream every day.
being 4 is so uncomplicated
---
everyday i am just looking for tiny miracles
this morning my class was absolutely wonderful
it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop
i was so amazed
maybe there is hope
----
i know i always say i am in love
but i just can't help it!
to phrase it very delicately i super, duper, over the moon and back like this song
"Misery is all we know lately Saturdays are all the same Sympathy is overrated Like a snapshot when you've lost the game
Now it's the funeral I become the serial killer of us all Now it's the funeral I become the serial killer of us all
No I don't wanna get thrown in your ocean Don't try You know that we already know you It's over
At your, own burial don't forget to cry At your, own burial
Looking at my 81st birthday Everyday this body goes to waste Remembering how I would raise an army when we went back to your place
Now it's the funeral I become a serial killer of us all Now it's the funeral I become a serial killer of us all No I, don't wanna get thrown in your ocean Don't try, you know that we already know you It's over
At your own burial, don't forget to cry At your own burial"
vanana yogurt you still make my heart go boom boom boom
---
my children make me want to drink- A LOT
i think i jinxed it because last week i told my supervisor how happy i am that the class has finally settled, how hopeful i am and how i am so proud of them
me and my big mouth
today was one of those days that you just want to lock yourself in the bathroom and scream
before i go to bed i will think of unicorns,puppies and rainbows so that tomorrow i would have fluff to compensate for all the chaos.
again Lord please give me strength.
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on a very weird note, this morning while at work i felt very sick so i ran to the bathroom and threw up
i think that was a sign that today was going to be a challenge
very strange, indeed
my friend joked that i might be pregnant
yeah right and i am maria montessori.
sweet dreams...
----
once again, i heard a song that made me miss the chikiting patrol
let's go back to 1998
back in the day when we would pile up in hannah's car and drive around the city
i guess it's curry for lunch and dinner until the 22nd
---
rex: salvador don't step on my paper you'll damage it!
sal: things don't get damaged, only people get damaged
you dig?
--
i hear jingle bells and frosty the snowman everywhere i go, when i take a shower, when i am about to sleep, when i am walking let's just say i can't wait for this week to be over.
"Let’s get out of this country I’ll admit I am bored with me I drowned my sorrows and slept around When not in body at least in mind We’ll find a cathedral city You can convince me I am pretty"
let's get out of this country, camera obscura
---
spending my weekends putting my life (once again) in boxes... "goodbye is hard, i prefer see you later" - charlie brown
3 more days until school ends, i spend most of my days hugging the children instead of giving lessons. today i was holding back my tears while i was watching them. sentimental is the theme of this month. on the other hand, in less in a month i will be back home. after 4 years i am coming home. excited does not even begin to describe what i am feeling. but until then there are boxes needed to be stuffed, old letters to be thrown out, memories to be made and numerous hugs to be given.
"ben you don't know anything about life!!!" exclaimed by an exasperated d 5.14.2010
"b, what is life?" "life is what makes us happy" 5.14.2010
for all the times when we feel like we are cornered for all those moments when we feel like we are the only ones suffering for those days and nights when we just want to be alone for those instances when we just want to scream and holler at the heavens just remember that life is good, life is what (and it should) makes us happy and even though there are times when we feel like we don't know anything in life rest assured that you are not alone.
"i am happy because you are in this world :)" evie, age 6
--- self portrait may 2010 <<<<
Control yourself Take only what you need from it A family of trees wanted To be haunted
The water is warm But it’s sending me shivers A baby is born Crying out for attention
The memories fade Like looking through a fogged mirror Decision to decisions are made And not bought, But I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot. I guess not
"ms. a, can i be your daddy?" - jonas (3) ( it sounds creepy yet funny at the same time)
after 3 years of teaching in my current school i finally decided to move on. my heart breaks a little every time i think of leaving my children. they drive me crazy sometimes but most of the time i just feel this overwhelming love for them. my class will always have a very special place in my heart. 10, 15, 30 years from now they will still be very dear to me. they were the first group of children i have ever taught in my entire life. they gave me a sense of accomplishment, a taste of what it feels like to be needed and be loved unconditionally. in a sense i needed them more that they needed me. my wish is for them to grow up to be loving, respectful and compassionate adults. i feel happy that in some way or another i have made an impact in their lives. i want them to remember me as someone who made a difference in their lives because they definitely made a difference in mine. they taught me patience, kindness, love and a sense of wonder and for that i am grateful.
after christmas:
julia (6) "ms a, did you get any presents for christmas?"
me "umm..no"
julia runs up to me and hugs me very tightly "now you have 1 present"
love, pass it on...
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"and when i think of you and all the love that's due i'll make a promise, i'll make a stand 'cause to these big brown eyes this comes as no surprise we've got the whole wide world in our hands
advice to the young at heart soon we will be older when we're gonna make it work"
no more pencils, no more books, no more screaming "no snack for you today!" 3 weeks of pure bliss. i know in the first day i will say to myself "this is great!", and then second day rolls in and i might show some signs of cabin fever, however on the third day i will guarantee you that i will be tearing my hair out bored out of my mind. that is why i stacked up on trashy romance novels, my must have summer reading as well unwatched episodes of my dramas. i feel like i really need this break. for the past couple of weeks i have been missing my old life. i miss living in the city and having my friends around me. i miss the weekends when i would just hop on the bus to go to new york to visit vans, ina and nino. i miss the feeling of walking around my neighborhood and having a cup of coffee after work with my friends. i miss my cramped apartment and its broken elevator. i miss being 25.
my mom had a cancer scare a couple of weeks ago. when she told me about it the first thing that came to my mind was that she will never get to see her grandchildren. of all the things that i can think of i thought of grandchildren i think it is my biological clock ticking loudly. i just remembered standing in front of the sink, washing my plate and sobbing uncontrollably just thinking over and over again that my mom won't live long enough to hug her grandchildren. anyway i haven't told my mom about this i don't know what her reaction will be. i feel that she might be amused as well as a little bit concerned about my feeling pressured to produce an offspring. like is said oh to be 25 again!
today at school i gave my camera to two of my children and asked them to take pictures around the playground. the results were amazing, i did not expect them to take such great pictures. today is is just one of those days that you wish would last forever, this beats sitting inside the office 8 hours a day...
---------- pictures courtesy of kelli (5) and curtis (5)
tire shoot and run run
hanging around nature's jungle gym crazy teacher who aged 10 years ------------
miss a: curtis please finish your milk curtis: i don't want to miss a: i believe you are 5 now right? so you have to finish your milk curtis: i want to be 4 miss a: well you still need to drink milk curtis: i want to be 3 miss a: the more you need to drink milk curtis: i want to be 10 miss a: you need milk to strengthen your bones curtis: i want to be 18 miss a: the older you get the more you need calcium for your bones curtis, so please drink your milk curtis: i want to be a dog miss a: dogs still need to drink milk curtis: i want to be a cow miss a: cows also drink milk, it even comes from them curtis: *looks around* i want to be a flower miss a: *taken aback (how do you top that?) ummm... okay go ahead and clean up
discovered books again. it's like seeing a very dear and old friend.
a day in the life of...:
erika *holding up a picture of tulips* me: those are tulips erika: tulips me: yes tulips have you seen these in the garden? erika: yes i have tulips at home, they are red me: really? erika: yes (then she put her hand on her mouth, pretending like she is holding something) tulips (rubbing her mouth) i have a red one me *puzzled look* erika: tulips (still doing that action) i have a red one *ding* me: ooooooooohhhhhh erika tulips are flowers, what you put on your lips is called LIPSTICK erika: *nods* yes tulips *and goes away*
it took me a while to figure out why she associated tulips with lipstick and then i realize ahhh tu-LIPS!
.............
Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste? Even If i knew my place should i leave it there? Should i give up, Or should i just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere
