Friday, April 12, 2002
I still can't breathe properly, I was awakened this morning by this sound, it sounded like somebody was snoring, and guess who it was??? it was me! Yep due to the congested nasal passages I woke myself up with my own snoring, instead of my alarm, what a great way to start the day! Anyway the weather is still crappy, and I was thinking about the whole roommate issue, I talked to my friend last night and she was still undecided, and I also asked myself that question, should I also take the next step? should I also go back to school? I defintely want to go back to school but because I don't have enough savings and my family is not well-off I'm forced to sit on my butt 9 hours a day, seven days a week, doing such mind numbing tasks, it's all routine now, my 4 year college education has gone down the drain. I'm really confused right now part of me wants to go back to the PI and continue my studies there and another part of me says that I should stay here, continue working and saving up then go back to school and become a teacher. It's like if I go home all my efforts (finding a job, being on my own) was just a waste of time and if I stay here it feels like I'm not going anywhere, I'm just gonna be stuck here doing the same job 'till I retire. Some people might say that's I'm still young, (22) and that I still have time to do all the things I want to do, I know that, but I just feel scared that if I keep on telling myself that I would, wake up one day and realize that the 22 year old girl is now an old, wrinkly and miserable woman.