Spurts

hello blog, hello world it's been a while.

i made a promise at the beginning of 2008. i promised to write more. in retrospect i intended to do it, but the procrastinator in me won (as usual).

ever since i moved to california, i can't seem to write anymore. i don't know if it's the weather, my new lifestyle, my work or too much korean dramas (i blame the dramas and old age).

this year i am turning 29, which is quite an odd year to be at. it's like i'm too old to wear super tight t-shirts yet too young to wear "adult clothes" (i can't give you an example because everytime i think about it pant suits pop in my head). anyway i'm on the brink off my 20s it's a bit scary but last i heard 30 is the new 21 or something like that.

no interesting people and observations to write about. i blame having a car.

miss you lots, i won't make promises to you anymore because i seem to break it all the time. promises, they say are meant to be broken however i feel like a mom who asked you to wait for me at the cereal aisle while i get a shopping cart and never came back because i ran off with my alcoholic boyfriend named leon.

this is a start i suppose...

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getty museum
los angeles, ca

milking it

lunch time, wedensday

miss a: curtis please finish your milk
curtis: i don't want to
miss a: i believe you are 5 now right? so you have to finish your milk
curtis: i want to be 4
miss a: well you still need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be 3
miss a: the more you need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be 10
miss a: you need milk to strengthen your bones
curtis: i want to be 18
miss a: the older you get the more you need calcium for your bones curtis, so please drink your milk
curtis: i want to be a dog
miss a: dogs still need to drink milk
curtis: i want to be a cow
miss a: cows also drink milk, it even comes from them
curtis: *looks around* i want to be a flower
miss a: *taken aback (how do you top that?) ummm... okay go ahead and clean up

*that child should be a lawyer

still life
monterey bay aquarium
2008

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the sweetest thing

mom and pops
carmel by the sea, CA
april 2008

while we were preparing to go for a walk around the neighborhood josh, a 5 year old boy in my class blurted out "Ms. A I wish you had more hands so that you can hold all of our hands". at the end of the day, when i feel like giving up this is what keeps me going.

i am still playing the waiting game...

sorry for the cryptic messages, once everything settles maybe i will be in the mood to explain.

"i'm okay" i have been saying these for the last couple of months and i am starting to believe it.

and so it begins again...

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moving again, hello boxes, goodbye room

i am so tired of packing i think the longest i have stayed in one place was 3 years other than that it seemed that i was moving every year. to think i was quite optimistic about 2008, i even compared it to a warm, soft grandmother but guess what like in the stories i tell my children she turned out to be the wolf in disguise. anyway someone asked me this question a couple weeks ago, he asked me what was the most important thing in my life right now, and without even thinking i answered: stability. stability is at the top, nothing even comes close to it. if you ask me where i see myself 5 years from now i would tell you point blank i do not know, what about a year from now? i will still answer you the same thing i do not have a clue, i don't even want to think what will happen in october and that is 2 months away. i guess for now i will just have to concentrate on putting my life in boxes for the nth time, unpacking, getting used to an unfamiliar place and when that place feel a little bit like home pack up and move again.

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Follow you home, you've got your headphones on and you're dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot you taking everything off watch the curtains wide open
Then you fall in the same routine flicking through the TV relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone...

Why do you have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

imogen heap, good night and go

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my little discovery...

coby
las vegas, march 2008

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currently listening to: haru haru - big bang


homesick... thank god for this website now i have a little piece of the philippines. my current obsession aside from the usual melodramas, the korean variety show and sharon cuneta movies is the awesome show called imbestigador. mike enriquez you should run for president, from people whose identity has been stolen to shirtless guys making dentures and retainers for an unsuspecting lot nothing escapes him. from the cheesy music to the weird way he talks, it's so over the top that it's good. you can say i am a big fan of "over the topness" if there is such a word. i was making fun of my cousin whose favorite show is america's most wanted and cops, if she only knew about this secret of mine, i will never hear the end of it.

my roommate and i are currently in a frenzy over this guy :

takenouchi yutaka
*drool*
(photo courtesy of: http://www.ken-on.co.jp/takenouchi/)

a happy thought courtesy of my children:

amanda - eyes as big as saucers and is whispering to us in a conspirational tone: "you know guys when i was watching tv in my room..." pauses for dramatic effect
me: yes amanda? what did you see?
amanda: i saw a BOYGIRL!
me: a what?
amanda: a boy girl
wilbert: what's a boy girl?
amanda: a boy that looks like a girl
wilbert: ahhh, you know what sometimes i think my dad is a girl.
me: can you please pass me the milk

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a confession of some sort...

................

last night, in the dark i watched a movie that i have been dying to watch for a long time. i was lucky enough to find it online and even though i had to wake up early the next day i just had to watch it. the cinematic masterpiece i searched fervently for was the 80's gem dear heart. yes, dear heart the movie every sharonian (and for my case closet sharonian) should watch. the story is about a girl, april (or EP-REL as eddie garcia would pronounce it) a rich girl with a very protective father and a young man named jimmy who is the bastard son of a mining tycoon ( i always wanted to write "a bastard son of a mining tycoon", sounds very grown up). basically the storyline is so predictable that you would know what was going to happen just by watching the opening montage (and that was sharon riding a horse in baguio).

girl meets boy, girl does not like boy, girl and boy bicker (in taglish...."i'll make palo your head" blah blah blah), girl and boy fall in love, *cue montage* with girl and boy chasing each other on the beach, girl wearing jeans while swimming, father of girl is against the relationship, girl and boy got stranded in the mountains, girl's dad calls police, girl got grounded does not want to eat, boy was thrown in jail, boy's dad finally acknowledges his son, bails him out, girl's dad finally realized what an ass he was, says sorry to girl, throws a lavish 16th birthday party for daughter, makes a cheesy speech something about a golden girl in a golden cage (he lost me after the golden cage), boy appears in a tuxedo asks girl to dance, they hug. the end.

the reason why i love watching 80s tagalog movies it's over the top. it oozes with melodrama, cheese, bad hair and make up. i love the dialogue with corny english phrases scattered in it (your ANG-KEL perised in a plen kras). i love how easy things work out for the characters, the reversal of fortunes. i love how it reminds me of lazy summer days and in some weird way bananacue and turon.

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naptime, april 2008

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"But if you left it up to me
Everyday would be
A holiday from real
We'd waste our weeks
Beneath the sun
We'd lie and tell our friends
It's so much fun out here
When it's all over
I'll come back for another year"

Holiday from Real, Jack's Mannequin

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everything i know i learned from the playground

getty museum, los angeles

.........

love according to amanda, 4 years old:
"when you get married, make sure it's with someone you love, not like"

marriage according to andrew, 5 years old:
"i want to get married so that i can get a ring" i want to get married 10 times so that i can get 10 rings"

parents according to wilbert, 4 years old:
"i am sometimes scared of my dad because i sometimes think he's a girl"

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a day in the life of...

palace of fine arts
san francisco

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discovered books again. it's like seeing a very dear and old friend.


a day in the life of...:

erika *holding up a picture of tulips*
me: those are tulips
erika: tulips
me: yes tulips have you seen these in the garden?
erika: yes i have tulips at home, they are red
me: really?
erika: yes (then she put her hand on her mouth, pretending like she is holding something) tulips (rubbing her mouth) i have a red one
me *puzzled look*
erika: tulips (still doing that action) i have a red one
*ding*
me: ooooooooohhhhhh erika tulips are flowers, what you put on your lips is called LIPSTICK
erika: *nods* yes tulips *and goes away*

it took me a while to figure out why she associated tulips with lipstick and then i realize ahhh tu-LIPS!

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Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

chasing pavements, adele

life is like a box of jelly beans...you wonder who the heck
thought that jalapeno would be a nice addition to an otherwise
great bunch.

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current addiction: this korean tv/reality show

yesterday i saw one of the saddest things i have ever seen, 2 middle aged women drunk at 8:00 pm crossing a busy intersection. what is more sadder than 2 women trying desperately to hold on to their inner queen bee, sorority 20 year old selves? knowing that they have a much exciting social life than a 28 year old single girl.

summer is almost over so that means that school is starting *hooray* -- can you tell that i am being sarcastic? don't get me wrong i love my children, i love teaching however, it's the constant "ms. A. MW is not my friend!" or "Ms. A, she hit me!" or *blag* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" that drains me of all my energy. with all the constant negotiations and peace talks i have to do all through out the day i should be able to work for the united nations. cleaning up vomit, pee and the dreaded number 2 has been added to my job description and possibly my resume. basically what i am trying to say is that whoever is looking for a peace negotiator that can sanitize and clean up vomit, pee and the dreaded number 2 i am the girl for that job.

.......................

"Hey remember that time when my favorite colors were pink and green? Hey remember that month when I only ate boxes of tangerines? So cheap and juicy, tangerines...
That Time, Regina Spektor

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got carried away...

december 2007
christmas presents for my first montessori class

"everyone has a car, people who don't have cars are dead"
this quote is courtesy of my very outspoken 4 year old E in class today.

one time 4 year old M asked me "ms. a why are you alone?" and as if it was not clear enough he had a follow-up question "i mean why don't you have a kid?" i wanted to answer him, my dear boy it's because i am too busy watching my dramas instead of going out and meeting other people and also the stability that i am praying for is still an illusion, so please don't ever ask me that question again because it seems that everyone and their mother is asking me the same thing but instead i replied: "M, do you want to have a lesson?" distraction, it always works.

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Well actually I've got friends who (la la lie)
Will help me pull through (la la la lie la la la lie)
The spaceman that can't get high
I'm coming back to my girl by July
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack's Mannequin, La La Lie

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ms. A. according to Curtis
04/18/2008
(Yes, my head is that big)

sentimental, that's what i feel today. looking at pictures taken 1, 3 even 5 years ago does not help either. it's weird seeing yourself grinning ear to ear with your arm around people who are now considered acquaintances instead of friends. it's sad to see the old place you used to call home, the old haunts you know so well are now just mega pixels and memories.

tired was what i felt yesterday. coming back from a weekend with my family playing rockband on wii, i needed another vacation to recover from the vacation.

tomorrow, maybe tomorrow would be a little bit better. if things go my way i might be even happy.

"When it's quiet, does she hear me? Jettisoned to the center of the storm And I'm thinking I Prefer not to be rescued"

Rescued, Jack's Mannequin

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hi,

new year's resolutions, i don't have any however i did promise myself that i will make an effort to write more in my journal. i think not having a desk and not having a reason to pretend that i am actually working affected my entire routine. anyhoo i just checked blog-city and it seems that my blog site no longer exists. 4 years worth of entries gone in an instant. 4 years of my life lost in cyberspace.

2008, i like the way it looks. it looks soft, round like your grandmother soft to the touch and radiates warmth when you hug her.

stability is the only thing i wish for in 2008. no more packing, unpacking, saying goodbye, tears, homesickness and "i am new here so i don't really know what to do" answers.

so here's to stability and routines. to children's runny noses and scraped knees. to lesson plans and the embarrassment of singing in front of the entire class. here's to the life i chose to live...

happy new year!

much love,
nicole
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2007 in a nutshell

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to hell with it
i'm going to have a party

i had the blankest year
i saw life turn into a tv show
the person i knew
i didn't really know

time don't move
we're the only ones who do
bending reason
coz it's all we hold on to

nada surf, blankest year